Big Nate by Lincoln Peirce for October 03, 1993
WAP! NATE: (thought) Yes! NATE: Well, Dad...I just couldn't take it anymore. DAD: Couldn't take what anymore? NATE: This! You! Sitting all alone at home yet again! You're never going to find a girlfriend just loafing around in your living room! You've got to make contact with people! You've got to find ways to meet them! Clearly you're incapable of doing anything on your own, so I swung into action! I took the liberty of placing an ad for you in the "personals" section of today's newspaper! RRRING! NATE: That's probably for you. Want me to brief you on your turn-ons and turn offs?