The box said, “Cook at 400° for ten minutes.” I said, “Ten minutes?! I don’t have ten minutes!!” So I cooked it at 4000° for one minute.
I stole that joke from a Real Comedian™ many years ago, but I don’t remember who it was.
I had independently realized that pizza contains all four food groups — sometimes. Of course, the FFG is rather discredited now.
I have never been able to eat (with enjoyment) cheap or frozen pizza. Cheap red-sauce pizza gives me symptoms that you don’t want me to describe. Frozen pizza adds “and tastes bad” to the mix.
We (spouse and I) have more or less perfected home cooked pizza though, two kinds. One is the “pick it up and cook it yourself” kind. Not bad if you choose the good ingredients. The other is “start from scratch” which is usually excellent, but far from efficient. The trick is to select almost vegetarian ingredients (maybe with some Italian sausage, chicken, bacon or shredded beef, if there’s one of those around) and then use pesto for the sauce. Yumm.
Most assuredly Stephen Wright.