BOT: Welcome to XYZ customer service. Para Española matcho ocho.
BOT: Please enter your 53-digit account number followed by the pound key.
BOT: Please enter your 4-digit pin. Followed by the star key.
BOT: Please note that our menu options have changed. To find out the status of your bill press 1. To request new service press 2. To terminate service press 3. To order new equipment press 4. To … To speak to an agent, press tilde. To repeat these options press 9.
YOU: Press 1
BOT: You have pressed 2, request new service. Is this correct?
Bot: Welcome to XYZ customer service …
YOU: (Finally get through the next 16 levels of menus).
BOT: All of our agents are currently busy assisting other customers. Please stay on the line and your call will be answered in the order in which it was received.
BOT: 45 minutes of muzak plus ads for the company’s products.
BOT: (Phone rings.) Please note calls may be monitored for quality assurance.
Agent: (in heavy Indian accent), “Hello my name is George. May I have your 53-digit account number?
YOU: Go through the 20 questions including dog’s maiden name and nuclear launch codes.
Agent: I am sorry, you need another department. Let me transfer you.
Phone: (Dial Tone)