9 Chickweed Lane by Brooke McEldowney for August 31, 2008
"It is an irrefutable reality of public service that people look upon politics smiling at one another- at the sheer orgasmic, gruesome, idiot leers with which they festoon their gobs-..." "...And respond to the spectacle not as sentient educated beings faced with a monstrous logical incongruity, but as wee lambkins...reassured, content." "Ergo, in my quest to be elected, I must ape the actions of a man who can walk into any situation, no matter how ludicrous or hostile, and grin with a cynical scorn only a constituency could love." "Excuse me while I prepare my face..." "You're voting for Coolidge? He's dead." "That doesn't mean I can't write Cal in."