9 Chickweed Lane by Brooke McEldowney for August 17, 2008
Crud "Monty? Is that you? The last time we spoke you were a burning rhododendron." "I assumed human form. It makes conversation easier." "I just wanted to ask why you're vending 'crud.'" "We live in a world where shabby workmanship, poor quality and imminent obsolescence are the hallmarks of a successful product...Not where something makes money because it's good...But where it is good only if it makes money." "I'm living the dream, aiming down to the ideal...Settling only for the least...Shooting for the bottom." "That runs counter to all my precepts regarding the natural law, evolution and the universal struggle for perfection. You must see that." "Hmmm...Then perhaps you can bring me up to speed on how that jives with you little ozone layer situation." "You can't lay that at my feet...This planet is a beta version, which you'd know if you ever read my memos."