9 Chickweed Lane by Brooke McEldowney for June 29, 2006
Dear Thorax, I am in love with a woman whom I cannot have. She is pledged to another. Should I tell her of my ardor anyway, or enlist in the French Foreign Legion? Sadly Sighing in Pawtucket Dear Sadly Sighing, The question is not one of becoming a legionnaire for this woman, but whether you would shave your armpits, tweeze your brows, spackle and draw on your own face, and gird your body in wire-reinforced trusses for her. If you are not prepared to go to the lengths she employs every day for love, camel spit and French verb forms are what you deserve.