Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart

Wizard of Id

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  1. Alexikakos

    Alexikakos said, over 2 years ago

    A man entered a bar, accompanied, for some reason, by a flamingo. From the look of its ankle bracelet it was obviously female.

    The man ordered a few drinks, and paid the bartender the exact amount of money, including tip, when he left.

    He did this again and again and again…..

    Finally, the bartender asked, "How do you always manage to have the exact amount of your tab every time you pay it?”

    “Well,” replied the man, a few years ago I was walking on the beach and found a bottle with a genie in it. When I freed him, the genie granted me two wishes.”

    “My first wish was to always have the right amount of money in my pocket to pay whatever I owe.”

    “Well since you seem willing to answer my questions,” the bartender said “what’s with the flamingo?”

    “Oh, my second wish was for a chick with long legs!!”

  2. Alexikakos

    Alexikakos said, over 2 years ago

    For: Don Roark (From yesterday)

    Here is the rest of the “Spell Check” poem.
    I was thanking Mpeters for posting it on Sunday. (Which is where I got this copy.):-)


    Eye halve a spelling chequer
    It came with my pea sea
    It plainly marques four my revue
    Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

    Eye strike a key and type a word
    And weight four it two say
    Weather eye am wrong oar write
    It shows me strait a weigh.

    As soon as a mist ache is maid
    It nose bee fore two long
    And eye can put the error rite
    Its rare lea ever wrong.

    Eye have run this poem threw it
    I am shore your pleased two no
    Its letter perfect awl the weigh
    My chequer tolled me sew.

  3. Alexikakos

    Alexikakos said, over 2 years ago

    The above is the third comment I’ve put up today that doesn’t have a reply or delete button. Is anyone else having this problem?

  4. Bruno Zeigerts

    Bruno Zeigerts said, over 2 years ago

    @Alexikakos

    Nope … found your reply the first time.

  5. Bruno Zeigerts

    Bruno Zeigerts said, over 2 years ago

    Then there’s the joke about the skunk, the deer and the giraffe in a bar … oops … can’t post that one!

  6. AKHenderson

    AKHenderson GoComics PRO Member said, over 2 years ago

    Wiz vs. HOA – I’ll root for Wiz.

  7. K.C. Fahel

    K.C. Fahel said, over 2 years ago

    @Alexikakos

    I know I have a problem when I read the joke, but the first thing I thought when I read “ankle bracelet” was, “The flamingo was a prisoner?”

  8. RoseHawke

    RoseHawke said, over 2 years ago

    Wait, what? “Lot’s”? Someone in the lettering department needs to do a little grammar research.

  9. HonoBear

    HonoBear said, over 2 years ago

    I’ve heard that there are more lawn flamingos in New Jersey than there are real ones in the rest of the country.

  10. ArfArf88

    ArfArf88 said, over 2 years ago

    Henry finally has a playmate.

  11. nazzofoggenmach

    nazzofoggenmach GoComics PRO Member said, over 2 years ago

    @Alexikakos

    ok chez moi.

  12. MPeters

    MPeters said, over 2 years ago

    @RoseHawke

    I didn’t catch that. It’s one thing to have some errors in the comments, but it seems like cartoons should be able to avoid obvious ones like that. Don’t they have editors? Of course, I wouldn’t have noticed if it hadn’t been pointed out, so maybe it’s not so obvious.

  13. Ken Gagne

    Ken Gagne GoComics PRO Member said, over 2 years ago

    Errant apostrophe! :-(

  14. MPeters

    MPeters said, over 2 years ago

    Why are plastic flamingos such popular lawn ornaments? They look tacky to me.

  15. pathfindercec

    pathfindercec said, over 2 years ago

    @Alexikakos

    here’s another by Jerrold H. Zar

    I have a spelling checker,
    It came with my PC.
    It plane lee marks four my revue
    Miss steaks aye can knot sea.

    Eye ran this poem threw it,
    Your sure reel glad two no.
    Its vary polished in it’s weigh.
    My checker tolled me sew.

    A checker is a bless sing,
    It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
    It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
    And aides me when eye rime.

    Each frays come posed up on my screen
    Eye trussed too bee a joule.
    The checker pours o’er every word
    To cheque sum spelling rule.

    Bee fore a veiling checker’s
    Hour spelling mite decline,
    And if we’re lacks oar have a laps,
    We wood bee maid too wine.

    Butt now bee cause my spelling
    Is checked with such grate flare,
    Their are know fault’s with in my cite,
    Of nun eye am a wear.

    Now spelling does knot phase me,
    It does knot bring a tier.
    My pay purrs awl due glad den
    With wrapped word’s fare as hear.

    To rite with care is quite a feet
    Of witch won should bee proud,
    And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
    Sew flaw’s are knot aloud.

    Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
    Such soft wear four pea seas,
    And why eye brake in two averse
    Buy righting want too pleas.

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