Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart

Wizard of Id

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  1. Alexikakos

    Alexikakos said, almost 4 years ago

    Sir Egbert, knight of the realm, was hurrying home on a cold, dark, wet night when suddenly, his horse stumbled and died on the spot. All Sir Egbert could do was collect what belongings he could and tramp onward.

    After staggering for a spell, he decided he must get new transport. He headed for the nearest house which, as luck would have it, was a small farm. He banged on the door and shouted’ A horse! A horse! I must have a horse!".

    The door opened to reveal a young girl. She looked at Sir Egbert and said, “Your pardon, good knight but my father and brothers are on the other side of the forest and will not be back before tomorrow. They are riding all our horses.”

    Sir Egbert, saddened by this, answered “But I must return home immediately. Have you any idea where I may acquire alternative transportation?”.

    The young girl said “I know of no other horses hereabouts, but sometimes my brothers ride our Great Dane when the need arises. Would that help?”

    Sir Egbert, desperate, said “If I must, I must. Show me the animal”. The young girl led the way to a stable. She disappeared inside and returned leading an enormous dog which was more than an adequate size for riding.

    Unfortunately, the dog had seen better days. Its coat was mangy, its legs were spindly and it was gasping for breath from even such a short walk.

    Sir Egbert looked at the young girl and said , “Surely you wouldn’t send a knight out on a dog like this?”

  2. pouncingtiger

    pouncingtiger said, almost 4 years ago

    Now who DIDN’T see that line coming a mile away!

  3. win

    win said, almost 4 years ago

    As going into battle, if Rodney has a warm feeling it’s only beacause he’s wet his pants…or codpiece, or braies, or chainie whities or whatever.

  4. Flashold

    Flashold said, almost 4 years ago


    Sorry Alexikakos, I don’t read anything longer than three or four lines long

  5. Bruno Zeigerts

    Bruno Zeigerts said, almost 4 years ago

    According to one source I’ve read, knights often couldn’t be bothered to change out of their armour for bathroom breaks.
    Funny… there was no mention of that in Prince Valiant or Ivanhoe…

  6. Gator007

    Gator007 said, almost 4 years ago

    @Bruno Zeigerts


  7. Tog

    Tog said, almost 4 years ago


    Very good. I must remember that one.

  8. K.C. Fahel

    K.C. Fahel said, almost 4 years ago


    Your loss.

  9. Paul Rozeboom

    Paul Rozeboom GoComics PRO Member said, almost 4 years ago

    Maybe he should take lessons from the Tin Man

  10. flagmichael

    flagmichael said, almost 4 years ago

    Even modern snipers on long stalks have to let nature take its course without affecting the course of the approach or exfil.

  11. ArfArf88

    ArfArf88 said, almost 4 years ago

    What about astronauts?

  12. Nabuquduriuzhur

    Nabuquduriuzhur said, almost 4 years ago

    After an hour getting dressed, rodney regrets the big gulp he drank earlier…

  13. trimguy

    trimguy said, almost 4 years ago


    Read yesterday’s Calvin & Hobbs

  14. mkahn

    mkahn said, almost 4 years ago

    @Bruno Zeigerts

    I’ve heard the same thing about some football players…

  15. Colonel Claus

    Colonel Claus said, almost 4 years ago


    If I recall, Dr Von Braun told Alan Shepard to do it in the suit. After relieving himself, Shepard remarked, “I’m a wet back now!”

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