Tony Auth by Tony Auth

Tags: Satan the Cartoonist, The other Messiah, Altar Boys R Fun!. Add Tags

Comments (53) Jump to Comments Form

Fairportfan2 said, about 1 month ago

…oh, and send me all the homophobic Anglicans, too…
toasteroven said, about 1 month ago

Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Benedict accept that the Church bore responsibility for the abuses, and issue an (incredibly belated) apology?

Seriously, if I’m wrong about this, correct me. I am curious.
believecommonsense said, about 1 month ago

I’m not sure why this is back in the news … did something happen I missed?
omQ R said, about 1 month ago

I’m sure Fairportfan2 also alludes to what I’ve heard on the radio this morning.
It is about the Catholic church offering Anglican defectors, opposed to the ordination of women and gay marriage within the Church of England, a simplified route to the Catholic Church. It seems even married Anglican priests can join.
Many Anglicans have been slowly defecting to the Catholic church for a while now because of women clergy. Now that there is talk of women bishops in the Anglican church, many more are disatisfied so I think the Pope has enacted some canonical law that makes it much easier (MMotive?)
I wasn’t aware that the differences between the Church of England & the Catholics were small and they have more in common than differences.

The woman I was listening to - part of some synod - on BBC’s Radio 4 seemed to think that there will soon be a time when even within the Catholic church there will be married clergy as well as women priests.

However, the ‘toon doesn’t seem to be referencing that, ahem, nevermind then.

(an aside, I found it odd that the interviewees always said “women priests” and not “female priests”. Am I missing something?)
cdward said, about 1 month ago

The only thing I’ve heard is what omQ R has related to you. I suspect Auth is saying that it’s a strange thing for people to leave a church over women or gays being ordained in favor of a church that for decades overlooked, even winked at sexual abuse of minors.

As far as the Church of England goes, however, I don’t really think the impact will be all that great. It is an act of hostility toward the C of E by the pope, but let’s face it, in England the church has been anemic for a very long time, long before the ordination of women or gays were ever issues. Perhaps this will be the kick in the pants that the C of E needs. I know that in the Episcopal Church, ever since the General Convention this summer got off the fence and said, “We will ordain those called by God regardless of sexual orientation, and if you kick us out, so be it,” we have been doing great. Our numbers have really picked up. And ironically, we’ve picked up a couple of disaffected Roman Catholics lately. BTW, three of my colleagues in my immediate area are former RC priests.

All in all, this is a big nothing.
leipsicbob said, about 1 month ago

omQ R:

The Episcopal Church in America has a female presiding bishop. We also have at least one openly gay bishop.
Jase99 said, about 1 month ago

To my knowledge, toasteroven, Benedict never publicly acknowledged his part in the sex abuse scandal. Of course I also could be wrong. He wasn’t just the leader of the internal investigation, it was his job to keep it covered up. He met with the worst offenders and then did little, if anything, to stop them. If memory serves, he went so far as to admonish those who came forward with abuse allegations. There again, I may be wrong.
one-non-blonde said, about 1 month ago

If you checked in to Benedict’s past, he has a huge skeleton closet down in South America himself….
scottfreitas said, about 1 month ago

I’d abandon Christianity myself if it were handed over to women. Every woman “pastor” I’ve listened to in my life made me queasy. They can’t keep their theology straight. They always end up sneaking in everything predictably womanish: materialism, prosperity gospel*, promises of health and wellness, etc (check out Joyce Meyer Ministries to see what I mean).

The girl Jesus is always a wimpy, touchy-feeling guy who never mentions Hell, never rebukes sin, never gets angry. never does anything except rescue women from being stoned for adultery, basically.

Jesus chose all of His disciples personally. He didn’t select any women. Nor was there ever even ONE angel in the Bible who appeared in a female form. They always appeared as male.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. It doesn’t matter how many selfish, me-centered feminist “Christians” yell and whine and stomp their feet and pound the tables. God created woman FOR Man, period. That is the sole reason women exist. They were not created for themselves, or for “careers”, or for watching The View, or anything else.

They were created for Man.

And Men were chosen by God to lead the church.

Anything else is a mockery and a lie, and will never erase or override the truth, because it CAN’T. “Do not be deceived; God cannot be mocked.”

*Note: There are a few well-known MALE hucksters (Benny Hynn, John Hagee) practicing these heresies, granted. All teevee preachers. And whenever the camera pans the audience you’ll notice it looks like the Oprah Winfrey studios out there; hardly a man in sight, except for a few hen-pecked husbands.
ray32648 said, about 1 month ago

Hahahaha! Scott, you’re a hoot! Watch out, Colbert!
David Mattera said, about 1 month ago

I don’t know what ANY of you are talking about… the cartoon is NOT Pope Benedict (he isn’t fat, nor wears glasses), maybe the Bishop of Philadelphia (where Auth is from)???

Anyway, i think most of the comments made above tend toward the inane.
crunkbot said, about 1 month ago

@scottiefritos

So… she got the house, huh?
PlainBill said, about 1 month ago

Sheesh!!! The figure is wearing a Mitre - the headpiece of a Catholic bishop. So DM’s analysis is probably correct.

And Scott, you will be comforted to know that the Catholic church is unlikely to be ordaining women anytime soon. As to whether or not you would be welcome there - did the mastedon coexist with the wooly mammoth?
bradwilliams said, about 1 month ago

crunkbot: I think she must have gotten the house, the dog, his clothes and his collection of Ronald Reagan memorabilia.
scottfreitas said, about 1 month ago

Just because all you feminized males are so willing to surrender both leadership and authority over to women doesn’t mean i have to join you in your madness.

Funny how every political movement throughout History that fought and sacrificed and died for justice, humanity as a whole, etc was led by men.

Women have done NOTHING but lead “movements” designed only to help THEMSELVES. Or hadn’t you noticed that feminism is all about taking everything from men–including their rights to have offspring–and handing everything over exclusively to women?

Liberal “man” = mangina.
dtroutma said, about 1 month ago

Buckpassing and accepting “Catholics who flunked Latin” back into the fold? Centuries of pedophilia, closet queens, and now they are picking up those who are offended by, and or practice, the very laws they’ve rejected or created, or made or edited, or whatever- they’re as confused as Scooter.

Hmmmm, Scooter must be the offspring of a cloned MALE cell?? Led by men? The Inquisition, Auschwitz, Ruwanda, Idi Amin was SUCH a prince!! Yep, them there “humanitarian” maleness gays are soo soo beneficial.

Is Scooter’s cigar, just a cigar??
crunkbot said, about 1 month ago

Scottiefraidassofwimmenz:

So you feel your “rights” & “authority” have been taken from you? Maybe you’re actually pissed because you are just incapable of exercising them successfully.

Please do not project your failings with women (and society, I suspect) onto anyone else. The irrational and histrionic characterizations of your imagined “enemies” is quite telling. What I mean is, you seem to talk about dude’s hoo-hahs a lot.
bradwilliams said, about 1 month ago

So, you all think Scott protest to much? Interesting.
OakDragon said, about 1 month ago

It does sound like he has some deep-seated resentments there.

I walked away from the Catholic Church in part because of its narrow view out of step with the cultural and spiritual diversity I saw around me.

To me, “Males only,” is not much different than “Whites only.”
fritzoid said, about 1 month ago

Jesus was a two-fisted he-man with a bitchen swimmer’s bod!

Of course, if you go back to pre-Renaissance religious (i.e. Catholic) art, you’ll very often see Jesus depicted as having rounded, feminine hips…

But I’m with you, Scottie-as-a-Boy! Don’t let these women, with their briefcases and tight buns (their hair, not their buttocks), sap the purity of our precious bodily fluids! They sense our power, but we deny them our essence!
toasteroven said, about 1 month ago

“Funny how every political movement throughout History that fought and sacrificed and died for justice, humanity as a whole, etc was led by men.”

Ha ha ha! Oh, my sides. That’s rich, scott. You are a card, and no mistake.

Jase99: Looks like you’re right, I can’t find anything either. I must be remembering wrong.
Sooky Rottweiler's ... said, about 1 month ago

Men, women, we’re all in this together, so it’s pointless to wonder who was created for whom or who is more powerful, or who should rule the world. The idea that women didn’t had careers before the twentieth century is a myth and we all know it; there’s always been midwives, nurses, and cooks and crafters (who do you think made the Bayeux Tapestry? William the conqueror’s soldiers in their mail?) We just don’t see those as careers (what ingratitude!) but we all depend on it even today.

I thought stripy was stupide because he would refuse ten percent of the world’s skill because gays have it, scotty goes even further and refuses half of it.

Right now I’m working on a wikipedia article on a lazaretto run by nuns at the turn of the century (it was the only one in Canada). I read about them and I consider them feminists. Not the Blame-all-evil-on-men feminists that are just one notch above scotty in stupidity, but my kind of feminism; “The world needs us, fear and whining won’t cure anything. If there’s evil in the world, let’s get busy and cure it!”

Untermensch like scotty don’t want men to be stronger than women, they want women to dumb themselves down to their level (which is waaaaay below most men).
Sooky Rottweiler's ... said, about 1 month ago

By the way, I have my little theory about paedophile priests;

I used to believe there was no way one could live without sex, period. That’s not what I think anymore. One CAN be abstinent all its life, as long as sexual pleasure is replaced by something else that is more interesting, more rewarding, more fulfiling to replace sexuality. According to psychoanalysis, all human energy starts off as sexual energy, but is later canalyzed into something else. It can be turned into spiritual energy.
Therefore, someone who really has “it”, who is really willing to give his life to God can live his life without even thinking about sex.
But we are not all like that. Not even clergy people of all religions are like that.
For instance here, in french-canada, there were three things a young man from the countryside could do; settle for being a dirt-poor farmer, exile himself in Montreal of Quebec city to open a business or work in a mill, or exile himself in Quebec City or Montreal to get educated and become either a lawman, a doctor or a priests. Mothers were promised heaven if at least one of their sons became a priest. There were elections, but the clergy told you how to vote. It was that way up until the 1960s.

Because of the power the priests had, many were either coerced into becoming priests or went there for the power they could gain over a small community. God had nothing to do with their choice. They didn’t have anything to turn their sexual energy into, so it was still there. Sex in their lives was replaced by nothing. It was not going away.

That’s one of the many ways religion suffers when it becomes associated with power. And it’s not only christianity; we all know how it ends up when people use Islam for political purposes (if you don’t, get a newspaper). Buddhism too suffers when associated with power; some parents in buddhist countries pass their children as reincarnated lamas to gain…you guessed it; power and social prestige.
oldlegodad said, about 1 month ago

I could not stomach trying to read all of the above. So to get you all on the right path (as in correct ,not GOP) I refer y’all to the following.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/comics/9chickweed.html
fritzoid said, about 1 month ago

For a gross and sexist overgeneralization which will probably not win me ANY friends, my personal belief is:

Change is driven by testosterone. Change for the good, change for the bad. Creation, destruction, competition, dominance, revolution… Men in general are MORE susceptible to these impulses than women. Always have been, always will be. Culture reinforces this, but there’s a biological basis for it.

If you take 100 women and strand them on a desert island, in 20 years they’ll have built a central grass hut in which they all live simply and communally.

If you take 100 men and strand them on a desert island, in 20 years you’ll have 5 individual palaces, each with running water, central heating, and towers to the sky, each striving to show the superiority of its builder. Why only 5 palaces? Because 95 of the men would be either corpses or slaves of the 5 “Lords”.
longtimecomicsfan said, about 1 month ago

BRAVO Oldlego! There could not be a more appropriate response!

As for scottfreakus, he’s so far gone that it no longer seems like irrational right-wing screeching, but more like intentional chain-yanking satire.

Not sure which one’s worse, really. For every public facility, there’s someone willing to pee in the pool…
Jase99 said, about 1 month ago

Again I have to ask, is Scott for real???? I mean, seriously. I can see hard line a “conservative Christian” view women as chattel to be owned and ruled by a man, but then to refer to Jesus as a touchy-feelly wimpy girl?
fennec said, about 1 month ago

striper, I flagged your post. It was disgusting and totally uncalled for. And you claim to be a Christian. If what you are is Christianity, I certainly would not join. Fortunately, most Christians I know are not like you.
striper77 said, about 1 month ago

fennec,

You must know people of the Episcopal religion.
crunkbot said, about 1 month ago

I just wanna know what the other 596 are…
Fairportfan2 said, about 1 month ago

The more i read of Scottfriedass’ posts, the more sure i become that he’s a serious closet case who couldn’t get a date the only time he ever tried to come out, and resents the women who date all the hot guys he can’t get.
NorthCarolinian said, about 1 month ago

Reading this, I can’t help but wonder why there are users calling those who disagree with homosexuality on religious grounds homophobic.
I am completely against homosexuality, period, yet I am not afraid of any homosexuals (unless they are homicidal killers, then that changes. Ditto to pro-lifers, of which i am one.) The definition of “homophobic” is someone who has an irrational fear of homosexuals.
fennec said, about 1 month ago

NC, to many of us, striper and scott typlify the irrational fear of which you speak.
oldlegodad said, about 1 month ago

I dredged this up from my exhaustible memory of Beliefnet.com Religious Joke of the Day:

How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb??

Seven. One to call the electrician. One to mix the drinks and Five to stand around and mumble about how much better they liked the old one.
oldlegodad said, about 1 month ago

How many Amish?

What light bulb?
annamargaret1866 said, about 1 month ago

Some archdiocese … I think Baltimore … announced that it was filing for bankruptcy because of all the abuse awards.
motivemagus said, about 1 month ago

The Catholic Church has never done proper penance for its abuses. While several areas (especially the Archdiocese of Boston) have been forced to pay lawsuits, they have never, never, never taken full responsibility AND done what they should have done and punish the transgressors. Cardinal Law got given a cushy little job in Rome in part because he was due to get pursued by the law in Boston. He moved around known sex offenders to conceal their sins.
Now, I know that good Christians believe in redemption. But Catholics believe that both faith AND good works are necessary. Penance is more than saying you’re sorry, it’s proving it. The Church isn’t there yet.
believecommonsense said, about 1 month ago

striper said: ”sex with corps”

would that be the Marine Corps, the Corps of Engineers, the Army Field Corps, or any ole Corps?
striper77 said, about 1 month ago

No fear of homosexuals just disgusted of the practice and the sickening long term results.
comYics said, about 1 month ago

Perhaps a better screening process will help eliminate those abusers. If an aspiring priest wants to join, lieing lips are first indication that he isnt meant for that calling.

(personally, Im not into that feminist junk either.)
cdward said, about 1 month ago

oldlego: the other version: How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?

Change?! My Great-Aunt Matilda gave that light bulb!
cdward said, about 1 month ago

NC, if you read scott’s and striper’s posts over a period of time, you’ll see what the others mean. It does not apply to all who disagree, but if they are not parody, then that label applies.
cdward said, about 1 month ago

Oh and striper, you left out the UCC and the Lutherans, who have also voted to ordain gay clergy. Good for you, there are more to hate!
Jase99 said, about 1 month ago

CD, every now and again, Scott’s post strikes me as a parody. His post on this comic was one of them. Stripe is far to rabid. I really believe he is that full of bile, hate, disgust, and contempt. It’s a shame, really. I didn’t have the happiest of childhoods, which I still have some remaining bitterness about. But never in my darkest moments did I experience a 1/10 the amount of hatred Striper seems to convey in his posts.
striper77 said, about 1 month ago

Orl,

How old are you? Are you 6?
If you cannot handle the truth you just start name calling.
I am only calling out the facts that Obama and the democrats are doing.

If I wanted to come to your level or the liberal response.
It would be, you must know a lot about perversion or you would not mention it.
You are a sick puppy.
fritzoid said, about 1 month ago

The practices of homosexuals are in most cases the same practices that many heterosexual couples enjoy. Some individuals enjoy different sensations than others, of course, regardless of sexual orientation, but I can’t think of any particular practice which is exclusively engaged in by homosexuals. (I’d elaborate, but you can surely imagine for yourselves; but if a man can do it with a man, or a woman with a woman, then a man and woman can do it together, and they DO.)

The fundamental difference is in the object of one’s desire. If you are sexually attracted exclusively to members of the opposite gender, then you are heterosexual. If you are sexually attracted exclusively to members of your own gender, then you are homosexual. And my gay friends no more “chose” to be attracted to other men any more than I “chose” to be attracted to women.

If it’s the same-sex attraction that you’re opposed to, you might as well be opposed to the tide coming in. If it’s that people engage in same-sex practices that you’re opposed to, then you’re denying millions the chance for love and sexual fulfillment. If it’s the mechanics of same-sex practices that you’re opposed to, then you’re damning (phrase used advisedly) many more millions of heterosexuals who engage in the same practices.

Child molestation is a reprehensible and criminally-punishable act, whether committed heterosexually or homosexually. Yet there is far more heterosexual child-rape going on than homosexual child-rape.

I read of a man in England who had been convicted of molesting young boys. He served his time, and was released, but was later rearrested for molesting young girls. At his second sentencing, the Judge said that he was inclined to be lenient because the offender was “at least on the right track.”
deadheadzan said, about 1 month ago

fritzoid, that judge was a real goof up, for sure. Lots of posts here and a few jokes. oldie, Amish- “what’s a light bulb?”. Also, I can’t get the chickweed link to load.
fritzoid said, about 1 month ago

Matthew, 15:11: “Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.”
cdward said, about 1 month ago

Fritzoid, interesting interpretation – I never heard it quite that way before but it’s certainly something to think about.
d_legendary1 said, about 1 month ago

So if I eat p*ssy its okay?