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Apr 3, 2014
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Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling
Presents: News of the Times
Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc., Converts to Ancient Roman Religion
The HOBBY LOBBY Corporation has CONVERTED to a belief in JUPITER and other deities, its tearful shareholders revealed. 
HOBBY LOBBY
Man: We incorporated it CHRISTIAN! We raised it CHRISTIAN! 
Woman: This is a complete shock. Our hearts are broken.
Man: I think it all started when we stocked our stores with those historical coloring books. 
Woman: We should have stuck with only biblical ones!
Dr. Doyle Pierce, Corporate Theologian 
Dr. Pierce: Once shareholders create a corporation, it becomes a SEPARATE LEGAL ENTITY from themselves -- a distinct "corporate personality."
Dr. Pierce: It's set out into the world with OTHER influences, obligations and stakeholders, and its beliefs become its OWN. 
Man: We taught our corporation to believe in Jesus as the son of a monotheistic God. Now it believes in a hierarchy of elementally distinct gods! 
They were unable to legally prevent the corporation from effectuating its sincerely held belief that their meeting should be held in an ARENA. 
Man: Please refer to your agenda. AAUGGHH!
With ravenous LIONS! 
The good news is that the holiday of Compitalia is coming up, and customers will find bargains on tunic fabrics. 
HOBBY LOBBY 
SALE 
UP TO L% OFF
Apr 7, 2014
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