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Nov 1, 2013
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Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling
Presents: News of the Times
Government Report Debunks "Roseville Incident" 
Reports of ALIEN ACTIVITY at the intersection of Main and 4th in Roseville, Ia., and a resulting government cover-up have long been the subject of an intense interest and speculation among UFO believers. 
Artist's rendering of described alien activity. 
However, a new government report entitled "A Bunch of Really, Unbelievable Morons" refutes the claims of witnesses of the so-called "Roseville Incident."
Man: It's PATHETIC how easily eyewitnesses' accounts of strange phenomena were fully explained. 
For example, the Main and 4th intersection is actually quite busy, and the "HOVERING TRI-COLORED SPACESHIP" is explained by the presence of a TRAFFIC LIGHT.
The "SQUAT BLUE ALIEN" referred to by witnesses is dismissed by the report as an ordinary U.S. MAILBOX situated at the northwest corner. 
And the OTHER ALIEN, described as "transacting" with the blue one, is explained to be POSTMAN REGINALD HICKLEY, who has worked that route since 1988. 
Hickley
Hickley in Sunglasses
UFO-logist Vernon Hampton: 
Vernon: 
Of course they're gonna fabricate some government activity to explain this away. 
But how do they explain the eerie appearance of those WHITE LINES that run down the middle of the street there?!
Eyewitness Heather Andersen, shown here with her 3-month-old son Darrel is not convinced by the report. 
Heather: I just KNOW something strange happened to me there a year ago. Someday I'll find evidence of it. 
Darrel: MORE MAMMARY NOURISHMENT, WOMAN.
Nov 8, 2013
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