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Dec 6, 2012
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Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling
Hostess Advertisement
CAPTAIN INDUSTRY VS. UNION-MAN
The bold life of a C.E.O. is never easy! But when things get tough, he has powers few know of...
C.E.O.: Oh, no! My company's sales are down! This is a job for CAPTAIN INDUSTRY! 
HOSTESS
And I know who's responsible!
Captain Industry: My arch nemesis Union-Man! Why do you hate the golden goodness of Hostess Twinkies, fiend? 
Union-Man: Uh...I don't. 
Captain Industry: I'll save the delicious baked goods of Hostess for all America by forcing you to TAKE A PAY CUT!
Union-Man: Oh. Well, okay. 
Captain Industry: Now I must give myself a huge salary increase so that I'm at peak strength for my selfless struggle!
Man #1: I vote ya. 
Man #2: Yea! 
Captain Industry: Great Scott! Sales are still down! It's almost as though consumers don't want high-fat, chemical-laden diabetes pastries wrapped in cellophane! 
Captain Industry: Can I change marketing strategies? Create efficiencies? Reduce supply costs? 
NO! There's only ONE route to survival! 
???????
Captain Industry: Union-Man, you unspeakable villain! Take MORE pay cuts so that I may save wholesome cream-filled delights for our nation! 
Union-Man: No. I can't. 
Captain Industry: AUGGH!! The unmitigated greed! I'm defeated by Union-Man's fiendish plot!
Union-Man: Um..."MWA-HA-HA"? 
Union-Man takes his final bite out of the tender, flaky heart of Hostess.
The End of Hostess Twinkies
Dec 13, 2012
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