Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for December 07, 2012
December 06, 2012
December 13, 2012
Transcript:
Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Hostess Advertisement CAPTAIN INDUSTRY VS. UNION-MAN The bold life of a C.E.O. is never easy! But when things get tough, he has powers few know of... C.E.O.: Oh, no! My company's sales are down! This is a job for CAPTAIN INDUSTRY! HOSTESS And I know who's responsible! Captain Industry: My arch nemesis Union-Man! Why do you hate the golden goodness of Hostess Twinkies, fiend? Union-Man: Uh...I don't. Captain Industry: I'll save the delicious baked goods of Hostess for all America by forcing you to TAKE A PAY CUT! Union-Man: Oh. Well, okay. Captain Industry: Now I must give myself a huge salary increase so that I'm at peak strength for my selfless struggle! Man #1: I vote ya. Man #2: Yea! Captain Industry: Great Scott! Sales are still down! It's almost as though consumers don't want high-fat, chemical-laden diabetes pastries wrapped in cellophane! Captain Industry: Can I change marketing strategies? Create efficiencies? Reduce supply costs? NO! There's only ONE route to survival! ??????? Captain Industry: Union-Man, you unspeakable villain! Take MORE pay cuts so that I may save wholesome cream-filled delights for our nation! Union-Man: No. I can't. Captain Industry: AUGGH!! The unmitigated greed! I'm defeated by Union-Man's fiendish plot! Union-Man: Um..."MWA-HA-HA"? Union-Man takes his final bite out of the tender, flaky heart of Hostess. The End of Hostess Twinkies
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All businessmen are by definition greedy bastards since Marx taught us that they get rich off the backs of the down-trodden. Of course there’s never any such thing as a greedy union. Geez, where did you Lefties learn this stuff? No, really…where?