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Aug 9, 2012
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Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling
Form VRG-EZ
Department of the Treasury - Internal Revenue Service
Income Tax Return for Very Rich Guys
2009
Your first name (that's all we need)
Mitt
Presidential Election Campaign
Check here if you want $3 million to go to a shadowy Super PAC fund that will ensure your privileges 
Income from Working
1 Wages, salaries, and tips. 1 Ha, ha
2 Taxable interest on U.S. bank accounts. 
2 As if! 
3 Unemployment compensation. 3 Terrific!
4 Add lines 1, 2, and 3. This is your adjusted gross income. 4 0
5 If line 4 is greater than zero, use the regular person tax rates (see Form 1040). If you find it distasteful to even handle such forms, get your chimney sweep to do it. 5 0 
VRG Income
6 Dividends, capital gains, hedge fund management fees, stock option proceeds, interest from accounts in offshore tax haven jurisdictions, etc., etc., etc. 
6 37 million
VRG Deductions
7 Cost of elevators for underground storage of fancy cars and/ or fancy horses. 7 1 million
8 Cost of high-tech lair under volcano. 8 4 million
9 Minion expenses 9 2 million
10 Add lines 7, 8, and 9. Enter the total here. 
10 7 million
VRG Tax Owed
11 Subtract line 10 from line 6t. This is your Very Rich Guy taxable income. 
11 30 million
12 Enter a tax rate that is just high enough to avoid an uprising by the peasants. 
12 13%
13 Multiply line 12 by line 11 and add line 5. This is the amount you might want to pay. 13 3.9 million
Sign Here
Under penalties of Very Rich Guys, I declare and swear I will not show this form to any non-Very Rich Guys, even if I run for President. 
Mitt Romney
Aug 16, 2012
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