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Nov 15, 2008
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Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling
Presents: 
News of the Times
U.S. To Bail Out Federal Government
INSPIRING CONFIDENCE
The federal government, operating now at a ballooning $1 trillion deficit, is deeply insolvent and urgently requires a bailout from the federal government, said treasury secretary Henry Paulson. 
Henry: We'll structure an option purchase...no, wait...issue provisional convertible loans...
Aw, hell, who'm I kidding? We're just gonna throw money around. 
The bailout is necessitated by the U.S.'s costly industry rescues, bailouts and stimulus plans. 
Man: Gold Pogo Sticks, Inc
Man: Sign here. 
Or don't. 
BAIL OUTS
STATE YOUR INDISPENSABLE INDUSTRY
BAILOUTS
$
Man: Hurry up! I've got a morale-boosting meeting in Maui! 
Critics say that the U.S. bailing itself out doesn't make a lick of sense, but Paulson is adamant. 
Henry: This is no time to talk about making sense! Irrationally tossing money around is all we've got! 
U.S. TREASURY
U.S. TREASURY
Even though the need to bail out the U.S. was caused by the outgoing management team's incompetence, it is said to be "too big to fail."
George W. Bush: See? So, I DIDN'T fail! 
Now we'll see what the market will bear for my presidential liberry!
Fortunately, the Treasury Department has a PLAN in case the self-bailout program doesn't work. 
Henry: We'll bail out the BAILOUT. 
Man: Where does this go? 
Man #2: Stimulate it out the window. 
TO INVESTMENT BANKS
TO INSURANCE COMPANIES
Nov 29, 2008
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