Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for February 17, 2001

Transcript:

Did You Know? this week -- Evolution Most people think of evolution as a vast impenetrable subject composed of flimsy conjecture and sacrilegious falsehoods. But scientists know that it's actually a treasure-trove of fun facts! The male nipple is an example of one of the tenets of evolution! Human and chimps share 98% of their genetic makeup. But the remaining 2% governs the propensity to emit high-pitched shrieks and throw poop! The story of Noah's Ark is actually true! How can this be? It occurred 3/9 million years ago, when there were only three species of cellular life, and Noah himself was a heterotrophic prokaryote! Michael Douglas Catherine eta-Jones At the current rate of reproduction, by the year 2060, there will be insufficient Oscars to cover the outstanding performances delivered! Scientists believe that "Friends" star David Schwimmer descended from slimy fish with tiny appendages! In the time it takes to read this sentence, 8,000 species will go extinct, provided you read very slowly. Unfortunately, evolution was recently disproved because there is no fossil evidence of a transitional species between these two whale ancestor species! Oh well!