Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for September 25, 1999

Transcript:

News of the times pundicized nation in campaign 2000 mania with only a year until the national elections, america has shifted into campaign overdrive, every issue becoming an occasion for horse-race analysis. my view is that clinton's offer of clemency of the puerto rican nationalists, intended to aid hillary's senate bid, has backfired terribly. but did they deserve clemency? i don't know... what'd they do? the pundit authorization board reports 250 million registered pundits in the us, all expertly pontificating on the campaign consequences of each and every event. i wonder what our tax bill will be. more importantly, how are the parties positioning themselves for november? this should help gore because it will draw support for his environmental angle. ah! you're fired! frankly, i see that as a boon to republicans -- it's got to hurt the incumbent party. americans can look forward to a year of viewing everything through a lens of cynical sophistication. hey! isn't that bill clinton? he's on a shooting spree, killing kids and puppies! hmmm... how will gore distance himself from this? but bush will have to deal with the gun control issue. in the next news of the times pundification of art now complete so, what did you think of the movie? i don't think it has the demographics to attract multiple viewings, so it won't have the legs to get 50 mil.