Ted Rall for July 19, 2004
Transcript:
What to do in case of a very vague terror alert. In the event of a very vague terror alert (V.V.T.A.) You won't be told what to do, where to go or what to look for. Here's how you can help: Don't sleep. Terror related activities occur during somnolence. (Man 2: It's our patriotic duty to remain alert at all times!) Don't blink. Use auriculoplpebral nerve block to minimize loss of optic vigilance. (Man 2: Dang- why won't they blink?!?) Use digital photo overlay analysis to find suspicious changes in your surroundings. (Woman: That hammock wasn't there before... and it'd be a perfect liar for Mullah Omar!) Keep large, anxious, predatory pets. (Man 3: Ol' Jess here keeps me covered- in case of whatever!) Above all: please stand by. (Man 4: I don't know what I'm looking for but I'll know it when I see it. Whatever that is.)