Ted Rall for December 03, 2007
Transcript:
Hillary Clinton: The next prez will inherit Iraq, $1 trillion in debt, and Guantanamo. Why are we trying to win this thing? Barack Obama: I'm running for veep! John Edwards: Got me. Anchor: The Democratic Party has decided not to field a candidate this year. Good luck, Republicans! John McCain: I shoulda stayed in Hanoii. Rudy Giuliani: I was doing this to set up 2012 - not to win! Mitt Romney: Quick - the God phone! Voice from television: Democrats are abandoning the election - and therefore the troops! Clinton: Aiiee! I'm hit! Democratic hopefuls face the terrifying prospect of victory. Unwilling to spend 4 to 8 years paying off debt and trying to win leftover wars, the party issues a startling announcement. Caught by surprise, Republicans don't know how to respond. Road-tested rhetoric restores two-virtually-identical party democracy. Next: Democrats cut social programs to send more troops.