Ted Rall for December 03, 2005

Transcript:

You can't bring them back but you can replace them. Sign up for the dead Iraqi substitution project. I was an ordinary American: bored, maxed out an underemployed. Then a friend told me about America's pledge to make up for the Iraqis we killed. (Woman: Hi, Dave.) (Dave: "Dave" is no more. I'm now Mohammad Hassan, a truck driver killed near basra in 2004.) (Woman: Cool!) Just 6 weeks of cultural boot camp, and I was ready to make the place of a dead Iraqi! (Man: Tell me you're not wearing shoes inside! Fix that, Hijab!) Before I knew it I was in Iraq: a living breathing ball of penance. (Woman 2: I am your new wife.) (Man 2: Weird.) Sure, there were some awkward moments, but. (Man 2: Ha ha! Electricity would make this TV show still funnier!) Sign up now! Even opportunities opening daily. (Man 2: Where will I find another substitute wife?!) (Man 1: Could it be you?