Ted Rall for November 13, 1997
November 08, 1997
November 14, 1997
Transcript:
He's the man to call when you need the man to call! Antone the Affirmative action hero. The place: State University Dept. of college admissions. The problem: New radical classifications. Man: As you know, from now on Americans will be allowed to identify themselves as bi- or multi-racial. The question for us is: how do we apply affirmative action to students who say that they're members of several races? That's why we've called in Antone. Man 2: It's a whole new world out there folks. Take this applicant: 3.6 GPA, 670 SATs, identifies self as white, black and pacific-islander. Admit or reject? Woman: Admit! Two-thirds minority status! Man 1: Even though she's a woman? Man 2: No! Pacific-islanders are Asians- Asians don't get affirmative action! The students goes straight to the secretarial pool! Run a chromosome test! If she's at least 75% female, fine- but transgenders don't get preferences! Woman: Not bad for a white guy, huh?
