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16 Search Results for "shopping"

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Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart

Blanch: I'm going Christmas shopping Wizard: Why don't we just give money? Blanch: Because there are no money sales!

Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart

Man: This parrot you sold me doesn't talk! See? Parrot: Squawk, Squawk, Squawk Salesman: That's how parrots talk!

Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart

Blanch: May I try on that lovely blouse in the window? Saleswoman: What are you, an exhibitionist?

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Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart

King: Will these balls guarantee me to break a hundred? salesman: Absolutely King: How much for a dozen? Salesman: Ninety-nine dollars and ninety-nine cents

Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart

Blanch: Is the frock in the window my size? Saleswoman: No Blanch: How do you know without looking? Saleswoman: We don't have inflatable mannequins

Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart

Man: We need new leadership Man 2: There's an election coming up why don't you throw your hat into the ring? Man: I don't have a hat I need a hat Salesman: What kind of hat? Man: Something distinguished, I want to make a good impression Salesman: What's the occasion? Man: I'm giving a speech about the evils of monarchy Then I'm going to run for office Salesman: In that case, I wouldn't spend a lot on a hat Man: Why not? Salesman: You won't be keeping your head that long

Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart

Blanch: I'm going shopping dear anything you need? Wizard: Food Blanch: Food! I'd better writ that down! Cashier: That's forty-seven Dollars even Blanch: I'll make out a check Here you are my good man Opps Forty-five, forty-six, forty-seven.

Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart

Wizard: What's that sign mean? Blanch: If you drop something you have to buy it. Wizard: That explains why everything is coated with vaseline

Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart

Blanch: I'd like a "peekaboo" nightie Saleswoman: Are you married? Blanch: Yes Saleswoman: I'll need a recent E.L.G. from your husband

Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart

Blanch: Why is the bread half price? Man: It's day-old bread Blanch: What do you do with week-old bread? Man: That would be in the crouton section
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