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Clear Blue Water by Karen Montague-Reyes

Eve: I've been exercising a lot lately, and I feel much stronger. Manny: Keep it up. Eve: My thighs are smaller, and my abs, especially, feel tighter. Pilates is really helping. Manny: Good! Eve: Problem is, I'm still overweight. I'm really muscular, you just can't tell. I have a darn good body underneath all this fat! Manny: ...Kind of like a jelly donut! Eve: Aaaaa- Manny: I'll never understand women...

Clear Blue Water by Karen Montague-Reyes

Ivy: Mom, your stomach's all...squishy. Eve: Yeah, it's called twin skin. My body may never fully recover. Gulp....What's the matter? Ivy: when I'm old, is my stomach going to be all squishy and gross too?! Eve: ...Yes. If there is a god.

Clear Blue Water by Karen Montague-Reyes

Eve: Moo! Moooo! Mooo! Moooo! Mooo... Manny: Must you do that every time you pump?

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Clear Blue Water by Karen Montague-Reyes

Owen: Hey, Dad! Pull my finger! Manny: Um.... Eve: ...You reap what you sow.

Clear Blue Water by Karen Montague-Reyes

Eve: I'm so fat. I don't want to be, yet I keep eating. Manny: Are you getting neurotic on me? Eve: No! But, I've never been fat before! I always lost weight quickly after giving birth. But this time, i got sooo huge, nursing alone isn't helping. I guess I might need to go on a diet. Manny: Um...no you don't, dear? Eve: Good answer. Manny: Whew! Eve: But, that was an awfully long pause there, Manny. Frankly, we've been married too long for you to make such an obvious, rookie mistake. Manny: I'm sorry. But, um you still look good-...to me. Eve: There's another one!

Clear Blue Water by Karen Montague-Reyes

Fluff Boy: ...Why?! Eve: They're before pictures! I want to look porky so my after shots look better. Fluff Boy: WHy not have Manny take these? Eve: Oh, I could never let him see me like this! Fluff Boy: But, he's your husband! Eve: I'll show them to him once I'm skinny and it won't matter. Here, I'll slouch and poke my stomach out. I'm going for maximum self-loathing! Take it! Quick!! Fluff Boy: I don't understand the female mind...

Clear Blue Water by Karen Montague-Reyes

Manny: Eve, I found another clump of your hair in the drain. I swear, you're going bald. Eve: Stop saying that! This is normal post-pregnancy hair loss1 I've got no bald spots- Manny: Well, not yet. Huh, Iris! Eve: Can't you ever say anything nice to me? Manny: ...I can't imagine my life without you in it. You're beautiful, and you rock my world. Eve: ...Liar! I am a fat, bald freak! Waaaahh! Manny: I cannot win.

Clear Blue Water by Karen Montague-Reyes

Eve: What's wrong, Mom? Mom: In the past year, I've shurnk half an inch and gained five pounds. At this rate, by the time I'm 80 I'll be- Eve: A circus freak? Mom: ...My daughter, my treasure.

Clear Blue Water by Karen Montague-Reyes

Manny: Okay, what?! Eve: It's just so weird. Growing hair from your face. Bleah. I can't even imagine what that's like. Manny: Oh, I bet you could if you really tried... Eve: What does that mean? Manny: I think you know and don't use my razor. Your thick stubble dulls my blade.

Clear Blue Water by Karen Montague-Reyes

Eve: Manny! I think I've gained twenty pounds overnight! Manny: That's not possible, Eve. Eve: But look! I wore these jeans just yesterday, and now I can barely pull them over my hips! Maybe I'm bloated? But- Manny: ...Well no wonder they don't fit. Those are my jeans. Huh. that vein in your neck's throbbing again.
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