Guys – A Man’s “Rights” …You HAVE the RIGHT;
1. To REMAIN SILENT! – And I suggest you DO so, because anything you say can (and WILL) be used against you at SOME point in time or another! (That is usually during the ‘BIG GAME’ or when every friend and/or family member is there!)
2. To protect yourself against self-incrimination. – But you can forget that … Because as you have already BLOWN it and said, “I do”, which is the LAST thing you two will EVER agree on, so even if you DO “take the 5th”, she will probably accuse you of drinking it too!
3. To an Attorney – Fat lot of good he will be to you, as HER’S will be better, more cut-throat and end up costing you MORE in Support, Alimony and Separate Maintenance – PLUS, HER’S (being a woman) won’t have an “other-half” at home b*tch*n’ about her taking the case!
4. To Cable TV – Which you will never get to watch, because SHE will have the TV & VCR programmed into the next Millennium!
5. To raise a family – as long as you don’t look to HER for help when you have to discipline the kids! – God knows, Mummy & Dad-dums NEVER hit HER – (you BRUTE!) And when the kids are bad, it will be “They never got THAT from MY side!” - (Can YOU say “pillar of self-restraint”? - I just KNEW ya could!)
6. To use the Bathroom – but NOT when SHE has to; (A) – Go! (B) – Get ready to go to work or out with the ‘girls’ © – Or for 25 minutes BEFORE – or — 15 minutes AFTER her! (Are you beginning to get the idea?)
7. Half the bed (right!) and a good nights sleep! (Provided ya don’t SNORE!)
8. Sing the “blues” – and believe-you-me, YOU WILL! In short, YOU HAVE NONE SUCKER!!! – Why not just cut through the Bull-**** and go out every 5 or 6 years, find some woman you can HATE and just buy her a new house and a car?
From a “Vet” – married 30 years as of yesterday! (TOMORROW may be another story!)