Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for December 12, 2013
Transcript:
Rip Haywire: Listen Sheriff, I know you're dirty! Tell me what happened to Breezy or I'll give you a five-point suppository! Sheriff: GAH! It's her uncle, Spur MacDonald! He's loaded! We were going to make him pay for his life! Meanwhile... Uncle Spur: Do you know who I am? Not only am I the owner of the Starudust, this country's largest ranch... but I'm also Starlight's Mayor, and more importantly, the judge who will sentence you for this crime! Breezy: I had no idea you were all those things, Uncle Spur. Uncle Spur: I took a few online courses...
Must’ve sent in one of those matchbook covers. Please tell me I’m not the only one who remembers those.