Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for March 22, 2018

Transcript:

richard's poor almanack by richard thompson camel cricket fun facts the recent dry spell has caused an infestation of camel crickets in damp places in the dc area. bum knee drum sticks i don't know what this is, but i don't like it. cut this feature out and carry it with you for future reference inexpertly removed tattoo bonus leg tusks oil pan bottle opener facial legs another bonus leg! antennae continued on page c7 unlike the celebrated happy, chirping field cricket, the camel cricket is a hunched, creepy, igor-like insect, em-bittered by its unpopularity, poor posture & failure as a children's book character. the camel cricket has six brains, one per leg, which, as the leg-brains are constantly argu-ing with each other, explains both its ran-dom jump pattern and its generally psy-chotic nature. besides basements, these repulsive, psycho-legged little igors can be found clinging en masse to the front page of the leisure section of most newspapers, itching to jump at unwary readers.