Mid u 201701251614

Richard's Poor Almanac

By Richard Thompson
4,268
Advertisement
Advertisement
Feb 28, 2017
Small u 201701251614
lonesome pine. moody and neurotic. a poor choice for holiday depressives.

off-gassing balsam. exudes a piney scent that can erode your sinuses in seconds. mmmm-fresh!

cubist fir. so asymmetri-cal it no longer inhabits euclidean space. and just try turnng it so the bad side is against the wall.

oop: agh! my eye!
widowmaker spruce
spikey, venomous needles. good challenge for extreme decoration enthusiasts.

pine: ptui
haughty pine, rejects ornaments not handmade by old bavarian craftsmen that cost a small fortune.

early warning fir. keels over in a faint in the event of a nation-al emergency. unhelpful.
Mar 2, 2017
Small u 201701251614

More From Richard's Poor Almanac

Advertisement