Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for June 05, 2015

Transcript:

richard's poor almanac colors in the news by richard thompson beige astroners have determined that the universe is basically beige, not, as previously thought, turquoise or avocade or harvest gold. astronomer 1: colonial ivory? buff? sand? off-putty? astronomer 2: nope, beige. the unverse - not to scale multihue the homeland security council has devised a color code to signal the current terrorism alert level. it looks like a tricked up traffic light & everyody gets one to hang in the kitchen. man: ok, it's orange. woman: orange means "head immediately to your designated retail center and commence shopping." green it's the color of all beer served in the u.s. today, except in those counties with blue laws. man 2: what is this loathsome swill? leprechaun: give us another & don't be stingy with the miniature marshmallows.