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Richard's Poor Almanac

By Richard Thompson
4,268
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Jul 15, 2013
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summer weeding guide

boorish ivy - if ignored will quickly grow into the shape of unwanted lawn objects (flamingo, chevy up on blocks, any large abandoned appliance). especially unnerving for those under autocratic neighborhood associations.

dandelion 1: tie his shoelaces together!
dandelion 2: pure evil!
dandelion.org - densely intertwined root system creates a sentient hive-mind prone to acts of  petty maliciousness.

sphincterwort - (methanium) an en-tirely unnecessary evolutionary devel-opment. too nasty to even draw.

touchyweed - oversensitive to the needs of rootbound americans. runs screaming the aclu when pulled up.

farmer: owch
rakeseed - step on it and the stalk flies up and hits you in the face! nature at its most playful!
Jul 22, 2013
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