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May 23, 2013
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spring guide to plants best avoided

verbatum
parrots your every word in a high-pitched whine.
woman: why did i ever plant that thing? cut it out! i'm gettin' the shovel! i mean it!
verbatum: why did i ever plant that thing. cut it out. i'm gettin' the shovel. i mean it.

screaming bloody verdure
panicky & high-maintenance.
verdure: i have an aphid on me! me too! aagh!

puerilium
unfit for the the more refined garden.
gardener: how de trop.

magic bean-stalk
produces an endless supply of gigantic, not-very-tasty beans.
wife: noe of the neighbors want any more, either.
husband: well, go see if you can trade 'em for a cow or something.
May 30, 2013
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