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Dec 15, 2012
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horoscope

capricorn
your tin can habit is get-ting way out of hand

aquarius
check the kitchen drawer. your coupons have expired.

pisces
today they will remove your little castle. tomorrow...?

aries
i'm sorry, we have no horoscope listings under "aries" at this time.

taurus
you burn oil and pull to the left.

gemini
you are confident your court appearance will vindicate you & allow you to put these ab-surd allegations behind you.

cancer
shellfish is very high in cholesterol. beware

leo
time to thin the herd.

virgo
you're 39. lose the cats & the sci-fi fandom & get a date.

libra
you amass enough gravity to attract small satellites.

scorpio
your plans for global dom-ination fail when all your toadies strike, demanding nicer jumpsuits.

sagittarius
the "mr. ed" them song sticks in your head all day, starting right now.
Dec 20, 2012
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