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commented on Dilbert Classics
2 months ago
How did Dilbert get to be a foot taller than the boss?
commented on Alley Oop
2 months ago
Corrigan is doing everything he can but things have gone too far and he just cannot reach Godzilla’s mind. NOT FOOD, NOT FOOD, DON’T EAT – he screams out his desperate mental images! Godzilla will have none of that. “Faster, faster!!” Alley screams at his dolphin friends while water skiing on his bare feet!! But the dolphins are already doing everything they can. Sheldon the terrified, wrapped around Alley’s neck, peeks out and sees death only moments away. If only Alley could dodge that gaping mouth - here it comes!!! Sheldon taps Alley on the right side of the neck hoping to be understood. WHAM!! Godzilla chomps down just as Alley skirts to the right - he understood!!
Somehow Alley knew what that tap meant and he swings wide to the right denying Godzilla of his tasty snack. Godzilla has descended thinking he had a meal in his jaws.“What, no meat?” the fish thinks as it tastes only water. “How did that happen?”He ascends to the surface and spots Alley a short distance away.“Oh, there’s my meal over there!” and he roars after them, this time approaching from the right. Sheldon, overwhelmed with terror, sees it coming back for a second try. The giant mouth opens again. It’s almost on them. He can see the remains of Glarbs in its spiked teeth! Godzilla lunges forward and chomps just as Sheldon taps Alley on the left! This time its jaws snap shut so close to Alley, as he darts to the left, that Sheldon feels the wind from its chomping mouth! And again Godzilla submerges without its meal. Godzilla angrily ascends and chases after them! What a fantastic scenario is taking place!A tap on the right and Alley swings to the right as the action repeats itself!A tap on the left and Alley darts to the left as its gaping maw is once more robbed of its prize! It’s an unbelievable and astonishing scene going on, but really, how long can the fish keep missing? Not any longer. Godzilla descends deep into the sea. For a moment, all is quiet. “Where is it, Sheldon?” Alley shouts. He’s not getting any taps. Godzilla has descended a hundred feet down and is now on its way up – right below them! “Sheldon – where is it?!!” I have no idea, thinks the terrified Tribble. Like a rocket blasting off, the giant fish once again opens its jaws and heads up and up towards its prey. And there they are! Only ten feet above and there’s no escape this time!! Rocketing up from below it’s impossible for our friends to know where Godzilla went. With its fantastically huge mouth wide open the monstrous Godzilla fish makes a final lunge and eats Alley and Sheldon in one gulp!!! The tow line snaps and the two lead dolphins take off! Relieved of Alley’s weight the dolphins can now outrun Godzilla, but it’s too late for our friends, as they swish down the ugly, stinking mouth of their predator!
Here is the last posting of this story. Anybody who wants to read it to its conclusion can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’m just not comfortable giving it away so publicly and I also think some of the commentors have a point, meaning, there are other sites more appropriate for fanfiction. Nighty feels differently and I respect his opinion as well. To each his own.So anyway, here we go! It’s a long posting today, but it’s very exciting and it’s the last one to be posted here at the Bender’s site. Yes, I have received quite a few requests at my email mentioned above and you guys will all continue getting the daily postings!
I don’t want to give away the ending so publicly and have it out there for years and years.
I think I’m going to take my story elsewhere. I will email the daily postings to anyone that wants it. Just drop me a line at email@example.com and I’ll continue sending them to you until its conclusion. Originally rgcviper had asked to rerun it and I said sure. But I’m aware that someone could steal it and it really has a fantastic ending which I don’t want to make so public. And it’s too good to share a small little space here in the comments section with the Benders watered-down version of Alley Oop. Tomorrow will be the last posting here.
Corrigan’s ethereal heart drops.Oh, my God, what have I done, he thinks. Things were going so well and then this, now Alley is going to get eaten by this big fish that he delivered. For it was Corrigan who came up with the idea for the dolphins to tow Alley. When he put his mind to it, he found that he could send thought pictures to any thinking animal, not just man or Glarb. And when he saw the boat of soldiers gaining on Alley he was the one who went searching out in the sea and brought back the Godzilla fish that just ate a boat load of Glarbs. Unfortunately, this monster is not that intelligent and communicating with it trying to get it to NOT eat something is infinitely more difficult than putting a picture of food before it and getting it to chow down. Well, Corrigan is new at this and hasn’t really got the idea to think things all the way through to their conclusion. And it looks like it’s going to cost Alley and Sheldon their lives! Try as he might Corrigan cannot veer off the monster fish that he summoned. Frantically he sends picture after picture of NOT FOOD to the creature, but it cannot be fooled – it smells Alley by now and just fed on some yummy Glarbs. The Godzilla fish darts straight at Alley at full force and opens its cavernous jaws ready to pounce! The dolphin beneath Alley’s feet vaults high into the air as Godzilla lunges and chomps, but it only gets water! The dolphin comes down and after a moment dives to the depths in self-preservation leaving Alley water skiing on his bare feet!! With no dolphin under him Alley has no refuge for the next lunge. He could be standing still for all that matters, there won’t be a way to escape Godzilla again. And here he comes!! Godzilla roaring along with his mouth open wide, now two feet from our hero, he can feel its hot breath on his neck!!!
The engine from the Glarb boat gets louder as it closes in on them.“Come on, guys, faster!” Alley pleads.Alley shakes the tow rope vigorously, urging the dolphins on!But the boat is still gaining on him.Sheldon has peeked out and now his eyes are wide with terror when he sees how close the Glarbs are! He squeezes them closed again.Now the boat is 20 feet away and it is going to overrun Alley in mere seconds! When out from the depths of the sea emerges the biggest, ugliest, monster fish you ever saw!!Its teeth, there must be a hundred of them, pointy spike-like 7 inch nails that can pretty much pierce anything living or dead. Its eyes, large black beads showing no emotion whatsoever, dead except for one single expression – eating! It comes up right behind the Glarb boat, opens its fantastically huge mouth, and chomps its jaws down, devouring half of the boat along with a few Glarbs, leaving the other half to sink to its death. The remaining Glarbs who have not been eaten yet, dive off to the side as their boat sinks, swimming for all they’re worth. The monster fish eats all of them and heads straight for Alley and Sheldon!
As the boat gains on them both Alley and Sheldon hear the engine and look back. Yikes! A boat of full of Glarbs heading straight for them and catching up! Alley frowns and grits his teeth. He is not going to get caught when he is getting so close. He has to make it back and reunite with his friends, at least once, if he is to die on this planet.“Come on, guys, faster!!” he urges his dolphin friends onward.Sheldon chirps in agreement. But the dolphins are already at top speed and the Glarb boat is getting closer. And the sea is even rougher now that they are so far out. There is a madness in these waters that cannot be quelled! The Isle of Zulu has always been known for its angry sea and vicious creatures that live in it. It’s almost like Zulu’s raging soul, the combination of so much injustice and suffering from the collar-bound, has infected the waters around it with violence and desperation. And now there is a roiling in the waters, coming from who knows where, that sends a monstrous wave out in Alley’s direction! Without so much as a thought the two lead dolphins jump up and fly through the top of the wave. The dolphin beneath Alley’s feet skillfully vaults over it in perfect time with his friends, taking Alley for a short flight and then returning just a hair underwater so that Alley can remain standing. Alley almost having fun if it wasn’t for his life being on the line (and all those depending on him) is a natural riding these dolphins. He expertly shifts his weight, bends his knees, leans back and skips along the waves like he’s been doing it all his life. Sheldon is tightly wrapped around Alley’s neck with his eyes closed. The spectacle that Alley is putting on is fantastic! Ripping through the sea, jumping over waves, sailing through the air, being towed by Glarb-dolphins at top speed, all with the smartest Tribble ever to exist wrapped around his neck holding on for dear life! He could sell tickets to this show and sell out! Alley and Sheldon are sticking to this wonder ride like glue, but with Alley’s weight slowing them down, the dolphins will not be able to out run the boat. Note from author: Hey, how many are reading this story? Should I discontinue posting it?
Alley and Sheldon the Tribble, on the island of Zulu where the battle for freedom rages like the sea before them, stare out looking for…what?…is that it?…there is something swimming their way. No, make that “somethings” swimming their way. Sheldon is in awe of his own (at least he thinks they’re his own) new talents. He has summoned fish from the ocean to come hither, he thinks to himself proudly. And three beautiful, sleek, dolphin-like creatures come soaring through the sea, right up to the beach where Alley and Sheldon stand waiting for them!! Glarb has its beauty as well as its ugly creatures and dolphins and Tribbles are part of the original beautiful times. Alley loops the ends of the rope around two of the dolphins and grabs the rope in the middle. “Come on!” he shouts to Sheldon.Sheldon scampers up Alley’s body and settles in a ring-like fashion around his neck. This could be one heck of a ride and he needs to hold on tight! And as the two lead dolphins begin to swim out while pulling the rope taut, the third dolphin nudges and then swims right under Alley’s feet and follows the other two with Alley deftly balancing on its back. And then, they really put on a show and BLAST through the sea at top speed with Alley holding the tow line, leaning back in pretty good water-ski position (for a caveman), and balancing on the third dolphin under his feet while Sheldon wraps around and clings to Alley’s neck, holding on for dear life!!! These fish are fast! The sea is rough, the wind is strong, and the waters may be treacherous for most, but these Glarb-dolphins are like birds soaring through the sky, pulling Alley and Sheldon along skipping over the waves! The roar of the sea and the spray in their faces totally exhilarating both of them!! Not that they need much more in the way of exhilaration at these times with all that’s going on, but exhilarating nevertheless. If they weren’t in such dire circumstances, this would be fun!! Actually, Alley sees the fun in it after all and a big grin comes across his face, “WEEeeeeooooohhhhh!!” he shouts. The dolphins seemed to be affected by this. They gently zig-zag to the left and then right, all in perfect unison with Alley shifting his weight appropriately, water-skiing dolphin style, zooming along with the wind in his face and his hair flying out in back of him! Look at that caveman go!! Uh, oh. He doesn’t see it yet but there are Glarb soldiers jumping into the other boat still docked at the shore. And now the engine roars to life – because they had a key. And they are off, after our friends!! And the boat is even faster than the dolphins! Looks like fun time is over.
Corrigan returns and sees what’s going on. He is very happy to see that Sheldon found a nice long rope. He hovers over them and helps emphasize the thought picture, and completes it for both Sheldon and Alley to see the entire idea. Alley suddenly gets it, as does Sheldon.“Oh, come on, you can’t be serious!” exclaims Alley.“Um, actually this surprised me too!” Sheldon thinks. “But who are we to question my brain?!”“Can’t you just figure out a way t’ start the engine instead?” asks Alley.But Corrigan knows there is no way to hot wire this boat. It works with an electric key. It’s not just that you have to turn the ignition, you have to send an electric signal to the engine before you can start it. They will never get there. This is the best plan he could come up with. He shouts out at both of them with his mind to get on with it, there will be soldiers coming soon!And now Sheldon leaves the boat and runs out with the rope in his mouth.“Okay, okay!” Alley relents. “I guess we have no choice,” and he follows Sheldon on to the beach and takes the rope from him.Alley deftly ties two loops to both ends of the rope.“Okay, I did my part.”Sheldon stares out at the sea and concentrates.“Boy, brain, I hope you know what you’re doing because I don’t even know how we thought of this!”WARNING: Get ready…we’re about to begin a roller coaster ride to the finish!!!
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