Member since May 31, 2011
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commented on Strange Brew
16 days ago
What’s really funny is that I live in Ponderosa Mobile Home Estates, and yes, the aliens are the landlords.
commented on Cul de Sac
2 months ago
Ernesto has neat hair and glasses and is shorter than Petey by a small amount but is slightly wider. Andre has bug eyes (not glasses?), messy, mattress hair and is quite a bit taller and much wider than Petey. They do look kind of alike in a cousin sort of way, though.
commented on Deep Dark Fears
3 months ago
My knees already bend backward, it’s something I was born with. So I worry that if I have to stand in one place for very long that I will just fall forward on my face and break my nose. It’s nearly happened a few times but I’ve managed to lurch sideways while falling and so I only broke an ear.
While you’re lying there unconscious, your real worries begin. The heavy package unfolds and reveals itself to be a Quilvagian Infiltration Vehicle filled with tiny aliens that look cockroaches that go to the gym four times a week. They paralyze you where you lie there and consume your still living body over the next weeks as more packages arrive containing more Quilvagian invaders who are building a satellite base from the original mother base in Roswell. You can hope that you remain unconscious during all of this but when you’re done hoping you won’t be able to wipe your butt because you’re paralyzed!
commented on Luann
3 months ago
Normal is over rated. Unless you live in Normal, Oklahoma where everyone goes to school to learn how to pass as Normal, who cares? Wait, I just looked at the map again; it’s Norman not Normal. I guess that’s OK.
This is why you want to think in a very small font to make it more difficult for mind readers. Brilliant 4 point would probably be best if you can manage it but Peal or Diamond might be small enough. And for gosh sake, never think in Comic Sans!
This is how American football was actually invented and why there isn’t much actual kicking involved. Kicking babies? C’mon, that’s just cruel. And that’s why the kicker is usual a special teams person who is not liked by the rest of the players. They’r even shunned in the locker rooms. No one wants to trade anti-perspirant stick with a baby-kicker.
Whose type do you want to be? Cthulhu’s? People just don’t really understand the politics of godhood. Most gods are raging assholes, voting straight ticket of whatever politcal party is most assholish at the moment. You might say it’s a religion with them. At the same time, they like to sex up young naive women who are trying to break the rules.
Your family gave up months ago. The only people who care if you ever wake up are your creditors. While you were unconscious, they moved your hand to sign papers and now you own a timeshare in Bakersfield but you have to keep paying the association dues. $4100 a month. If you don’t pay, you’ll have to live there when you wake up.
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