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  1. griffon88 commented on Candorville 13 days ago

    My dad once said, “I’d call myself a Libertarian, except I’ve never met one whom I didn’t think was nuts.”

    The best summation of Libertarianism I’ve ever heard is: “I’ve got mine, f*ck you.”

    The taxes you pay are not the government stealing from you; it’s you repaying for all the things taxes previously have been spent on to provide the advantaged position you started with, like roads, police, the power grid, and internet.

  2. griffon88 commented on Doonesbury about 1 month ago

    I keep the latest voicemail message from my spouse because it may end up being the only recording of my spouse’s voice I will have.

  3. griffon88 commented on Tank McNamara 3 months ago

    Maybe. I first heard it a long time ago. I went with brown as I figured the difference between a black bear and a grizzly would be obvious.

  4. griffon88 commented on Tank McNamara 3 months ago

    Q: How do you tell the difference between a brown bear and a grizzly bear?

    A: Climb a tree. If the bear climbs after you, it’s a brown bear. If it knocks the tree down, it’s a grizzly bear.

  5. griffon88 commented on Non Sequitur 5 months ago

    As St. Peter was waiting at the Gates, a man approached. St. Peter asked, “What religion are you?”

    “Baptist,” replied the man.

    Consulting his list, St. Peter said, “You’re in Room 12, but be quiet as you pass Room 8.”

    So the man passed through the Gates of Heaven.

    The next man came up, and when St. Peter asked his question the reply was “Pentecostal.”

    Looking at his list again, St. Peter said, “You’re in Room 18, but be quiet as you pass Room 8.”

    The next man approached and responded, “Jewish.”

    St. Peter said, “You’re in Room 27, but be quiet as you pass Room 8.”

    The man’s curiosity getting the best of him, he felt he had to ask, “Okay, I understand different religions getting different rooms, but why do we have to be quiet when passing Room 8?”

    St. Peter replied, “Well, Room 8 is where the Catholics are, and they think they’re the only ones here.”

    Note: I am not in any way religious. This is close to how I first heard the joke. Feel free to substitute the religions of your choice when you tell it.

  6. griffon88 commented on Last Kiss 5 months ago

    If changing religion twice wasn’t enough, she should tell her parents that she’s an atheist.

  7. griffon88 commented on Last Kiss 5 months ago

    Friend of mine tried to come up with someone to date who her parents would hate the most. She thought dating a half-black/half-Asian woman might blow their minds, but wasn’t sure she could actually date a woman, what with not being gay herself. I suggested that if she dated a trans man, it could maybe outright kill her parents. She laughed an evil chuckle at that and agreed.

  8. griffon88 commented on Doonesbury 5 months ago

    I should have known you’d reference that movie. For some reason, I’ve always enjoyed it. My favorite part starts here.

  9. griffon88 commented on Tank McNamara 5 months ago

    I find my life much less complicated by ignoring all sports. Yet I still enjoy this comic.

  10. griffon88 commented on Candorville 5 months ago

    OR he could be making so little money that if he’s lucky enough to live in a state that expanded Medicaid, he can use that. It’s not like the ACA was created to make it hard for poor people to get a good deal; that’s the fault of state governors who decided their conservative principles were more important than saving money. And by ‘conservative principles’ I mean, ‘anti-anything Obama’.