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Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart

Wizard of Id

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  1. markmoss1 commented on That is Priceless 1 day ago

    Wait a minute, is that the Doctor or the Aztec priest?

  2. markmoss1 commented on Calvin and Hobbes 1 day ago

    Why did Calvin call Susie? Maybe all his other classmates refused to give him their phone numbers.

  3. markmoss1 commented on B.C. 1 day ago

    And just why would you want to eat like Paleolithic humans anyway? Their life expectancy was probably 30 to 40 years.

  4. markmoss1 commented on Wizard of Id 4 days ago

    He is a black magician, so he probably did want to save the fink. Besides, that cannonball was big enough to do both of them in.

  5. markmoss1 commented on B.C. 4 days ago

    “FIVE METERS INLAND?? That’s only 15 feet +/-!!”

    Yes. That’s typical of how small the effects of global warming – manmade or otherwise – have been so far. The catastrophic projections come from computer programs that model the climate as an inherently unstable system that will tip over into runaway positive feedback from tiny changes. There’s no evidence of that, instead, we have at least 8,000 years of the average temperature never varying more than a few degrees, in spite of solar variation, polar precession, and changes in the configuration of the land such as the Mediterranean and Black Seas going from mostly dry land to filled up as the glaciers from the last ice age melted. Those that ignore the evidence in favor of predictions from untested computer models aren’t scientists, they’re priests.

  6. markmoss1 commented on Calvin and Hobbes 4 days ago

    It’s probably been 30 years since I’ve seen the “I Go Pogo” book I once had, but I still remember the gist of a couple of conversations with Tammany Tiger, although I can’t duplicate Walt Kelly’s dialect. Here’s hoping the angle-bracket-p html codes are working to separate paragraphs.

    Soon after Tammany was introduced to the comic, he told the other critters something about himself:

    Tammany: I used to play baseball in Detroit, but they fired me for eating snacks between meals.

    Pogo: Gosh, what strict training rules!

    Tammany: Yes, but it is difficult to play without an umpire, and Randall W. Snacks was a man of unique vision and excellent taste, if I do say so myself.

    Much later they are loading a raft/boat for a voyage of exploration. I think it’s Churchy the turtle who leads off:

    Churchy: Better lay in lots of vittles. When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.

    Tammany overhears that and gives Churchy a hard stare: Are you implying I am a cannibal, sir?

    Churchy: A cannibal eats his own kind. Do you want us to pack a couple of fat juicy tigers for you?

  7. markmoss1 commented on Dogs of C-Kennel 5 days ago

    The missing earbud is on the moon.

  8. markmoss1 commented on 2 Cows and a Chicken 7 days ago

    My son has a defective cat – it catches mice, but doesn’t know what to do with them. So he grabs the mouse by the tail and flips it into the chicken pen. They tear it to pieces like a flock of Jurassic Park “velociraptors”.

    Dinosaurs aren’t extinct. They just got small and feathery.

  9. markmoss1 commented on Pearls Before Swine 9 days ago

    Not just Brits:

    “Coming into Los Angeleeze,bringing in a couple of keys,don’t touch my bags if you please,Mr Customs man.”

  10. markmoss1 commented on Non Sequitur 10 days ago

    Where did you learn history??? The African slave trade predated the Constitution by several centuries. It didn’t come about because they couldn’t “press citizens into slavery” – that was never allowed under British or American laws, except for government agencies in limited circumstances: when Royal Navy ships were short on crew, and as a sentence for crimes. There was bond service, which was a limited-time contract voluntarily entered into; e.g., a man might contract to work for 10 years to pay for his passage to America. That turned out to be an inadequate way for southern plantations to get labor – too many men and women reneged on their contracts and walked off to take up land in the west. There were no photographs, portraits were too expensive for servants, and the owner had no time to travel around looking for them, so there was no practical way to identify the runaways. But if you bought African kidnap victims, they didn’t look like everyone else so tracking down runaways was easy – and best of all, there was no limited time contract.

    And so by the time of the Revolution, slavery was an economic reality that the writers of the Constitution had to deal with, although many of them disliked it enough to avoid using the word “slavery” anywhere in the Constitution. It was impossible to ban slavery immediately without crashing the economies of the southern states, but most of the delegates hoped that these states would follow the same economic evolution as England and reach a point where slavery became unprofitable. In the meantime, they had to compromise on three points: the 3/5 compromise (concerning seats in Congress and how direct taxes would be split up between the states), slaveowners were allowed to recover runaways from other states, and the import of African slaves would not be banned until 1808 – and it was banned on the first day of that year. If things had gone as planne