Member since May 30, 2009
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commented on The Duplex
6 days ago
The Perfect Gin and Tonic. Freeze an ice cube tray full of Schweppes Tonic Water fill a glass with the cubes add two oz Tanqueray Gin and fill the glass with Schweppes Tonic Water. the cubes wont water down the drink.
commented on The Buckets
6 days ago
I went through 2 Epson Photo printers in three years until I got smart and replaced them with an HP Photosmart inkjet that lasted 8 years. Then I upgraded to an HP all in one Photosmart wireless model.
commented on Liberty Meadows
10 days ago
It appears Brandy hasn’t discovered Victoria’s Secret yet.
commented on The Argyle Sweater
15 days ago
Quasimodo was the famous hunch back of Notre Dame. After his death, the bishop of his Cathedral sent word through the streets of Paris that he needed a new bell ringer.
The Bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and so he went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he shook his head – none were as good as Quasimodo.
Just as the bishop was leaving, a man with no arms approached him and announced that he wasthere to apply for the bell ringer’s job.
The bishop was incredulous. ‘But, you have no arms!’
‘No matter’, said the man. ‘Observe!’ And he began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the bells. The bishop listened in astonishment; convinced he had finally found a replacement for Quasimodo
But suddenly, rushing forward to head the bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window. Sadly, he died on the the street below.
The stunned bishop rushed to the armless man. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before.
As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, ‘Bishop, who was this man?’
‘I don’t know his name’, the bishop sadly replied, ‘but his face rings a bell.’
The next day, despite the sadness of the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame.
The first man to approach him said, ‘Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you will honour my brother’s life by allowing me to replace him as your esteemed bell ringer’.
The bishop agreed to give the man an audition and, as the armless man’s brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest, twirled around, and died on the spot.
A monk, hearing the bishop’s cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side. ‘What has happened? Who is this man?’ the monk asked breathlessly.
‘I don’t know his name’, sighed the distraught bishop, but…
commented on The Born Loser
22 days ago
This is printed on a card beside each of my phones.Feel free to copy it and use it if you wish.
This number is listed on the National do not call list.We do not respond to sales calls,telephone surveys or solicitations for money or time . Remove ourname from your list and do not call this number again or you will be in violation of FCC rules.Thank you, Goodby.
commented on Gray Matters
23 days ago
A man runs into the vet’s office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead.
The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion. The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog’s body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog’s body and finally looks at the vet and meows. The vet looks at the man and says, “I’m sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead too.”
The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. The vet brings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and says, “I’m sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too.”
The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, “$650.” “$650 to tell me my dog is dead?” exclaimed the man…. “Well,” the vet replies, “I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests.”
commented on Wizard of Id
24 days ago
Here is a Wikipedia article on the Dragonriders story’s with information of a possible film series from Warner Brothers who optioned 22 books in 2014.
There was an attempt to film a series of the Pern stories many years ago, there was even a set built but creating the dragons before CGI killed the idea. Can you imagine a full sized Ramoth with the wing span larger than a Lockeed L1011 Tristars 155 feet?
commented on Ziggy
26 days ago
Check out April 6th Free range Chickens.http://countylinecomic.blogspot.com/
commented on Garfield
28 days ago
A classic show on PBS was Allo Allo about Rene a French cafe owner tries to ride out World War II. Caught between the Gestapo and the Resistance and forced into working with both, René also struggles to hide evidence of his affairs with the waitresses from his wife, who, though she can’t carry a tune, frequently performs as a singer in the cafe.
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