Member since May 30, 2009
This user has no shared collections.
View More Collections
commented on Luann
1 day ago
I hate bathrooms with electric dryers only, that have the prominent sign employees must wash hands before returning to work. Then they have to open the door that has been handled by the uncounted people who don’t wash their hands after going to the bathroom.
commented on FoxTrot
1 day ago
The laser spot shouldn’t be larger than the beam diameter.
commented on For Better or For Worse
1 day ago
Lock your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car and see which one is happy to see you when you let them out.
commented on Garfield
17 days ago
She just pity’s you Jon.
commented on The Best Medicine Cartoon
19 days ago
I never saw a Purple Cow,I never hope to see one,But I can tell you, anyhow,I’d rather see than be one!
commented on Liberty Meadows
20 days ago
Pulled pork. Yum!
commented on The Barn
23 days ago
I was thinking about the airline safety statistics, A fully loaded Airbus A380-800 with 853 passengers has a wing fall off at 37,000 it will fly 6,000 passenger miles before everybody dies.
commented on Gray Matters
29 days ago
Move to Arizona we don’t have it here.
commented on Birdbrains
29 days ago
Quasimodo was the famous hunch back of Notre Dame. After his death, the bishop of his Cathedral sent word through the streets of Paris that he needed a new bell ringer.
The Bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and so he went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he shook his head – none were as good as Quasimodo.
Just as the bishop was leaving, a man with no arms approached him and announced that he wasthere to apply for the bell ringer’s job.
The bishop was incredulous. ‘But, you have no arms!’
‘No matter’, said the man. ‘Observe!’ And he began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the bells. The bishop listened in astonishment; convinced he had finally found a replacement for Quasimodo
But suddenly, rushing forward to head the bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window. Sadly, he died on the the street below.
The stunned bishop rushed to the armless man. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before.
As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, ‘Bishop, who was this man?’
‘I don’t know his name’, the bishop sadly replied, ‘but his face rings a bell.’
The next day, despite the sadness of the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame.
The first man to approach him said, ‘Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you will honour my brother’s life by allowing me to replace him as your esteemed bell ringer’.
The bishop agreed to give the man an audition and, as the armless man’s brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest, twirled around, and died on the spot.
A monk, hearing the bishop’s cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side. ‘What has happened? Who is this man?’ the monk asked breathlessly.
‘I don’t know his name’, sighed the distraught bishop, but…
commented on Moderately Confused
about 1 month ago
He is calling 911 because someone needs help. I got the joke but it’s not funny.
Copyright © 2015. Universal Uclick, All rights reserved.