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  1. Monster Hesh commented on Monty 3 days ago

    We need a strip in which Moondog comes home from his trip to find Pilsner out back, pecking away at a dead pigeon behind the garbage cans.

    “…This isn’t what it looks like.”

    Re this week’s great controversy: I’ll always remember that “Family Circus” strip in which Billy’s prayers for God to watch over Daddy inspire the Big G to reach down His giant invisible hand and keep Daddy from getting plowed under by a red-light runner.

    God doesn’t stop the bad driver, He just intervenes on behalf of this particular victim. The moral of the tale? If someone YOU loved has died, YOU didn’t pray hard enough. It’s all YOUR fault. God can’t be watching everything 24/7 you know, he’s busy assisting Tim Tebow (note to self: don’t forget to update this before posting).

  2. Monster Hesh commented on JumpStart 7 days ago

    See, instead of picking nits over who left the candle burning or whether Joe “asked” or “demanded” Marcy not leave the thing unattended, we should focus on that first statement above.

    I almost got burned out of my apartment once because an unwell elderly neighbor propped a candle—the long thin type that goes on a candelabra—between two books…on her BED…and then forgot about it when she stepped out.

    Candles and fireworks are arguably the two stupidest things we can’t seem to let go of, no matter how much tragedy they cause.

    …Oh, look at that, Marcy’s not even listening. (sarcastic clapping)

  3. Monster Hesh commented on JumpStart 7 days ago

    Presumably, Marcy was that last person. It’s hard to tell for certain, but it appears from the prior strip that Joe may be coming home from a night shift while Marcy’s getting ready to go to work.

  4. Monster Hesh commented on Heavenly Nostrils 7 days ago

    For the longest time, I never connected the written phrase “hors d’oeuvre” with the spoken phrase always I heard as “orderve;” felt like a complete moron when the penny finally dropped. (Hey, don’t blame me. I grew up in a family a’ crackers what didn’t cotton t’ no fancy stuff. They thought I was mentally handicapped because I loved “Monty Python’s Flying Circus” and it didn’t even HAVE planes.)

  5. Monster Hesh commented on Monty 9 days ago

    A statement as irrelevant as shouting “I like cheese!”

    It speaks volumes, how Silmenume objected to political satire in the strip yet couldn’t post his comment without dropping a political insult. Oh, if only Taz were still around…

  6. Monster Hesh commented on JumpStart 9 days ago

    Oh Marcy, DO enjoy this taste of your own medicine.
    I know I will!

  7. Monster Hesh commented on Monty 9 days ago

    Trying to sound clever and failing again, George Will?

  8. Monster Hesh commented on Heavenly Nostrils 11 days ago

    You’re so vain
    You probably think this diary entry’s about you
    You’re so vain, so vain!
    You probably think this entry’s about you, don’t you, don’t you

  9. Monster Hesh commented on Heavenly Nostrils 12 days ago

    Ah! But does she actually whinny? Or just SAY “whinny!”? I’m betting on the latter.

  10. Monster Hesh commented on Monty 14 days ago

    I suggest you find a pair of seven-inch tall singing girls very quickly.