Future Calvin: “How come you live in this house with Mom instead of an apartment with several scantily-clad female roommates?” What kind of a question is that to ask at your age?
Calvin: I dunno.
Future Calvin: (thinking) And to think, I was once this little rapscallion.
Calvin: (thinking) Am I really gonna grow up to be this guy?
I think this is what a letter from Calvin’s future self would be like:
“Dear past me, I’m writing to inform you that I’m a cashier working at Wal*Mart and I live in a low-rent apartment all by myself. This is because back when I was you, I hardly applied myself in school, and as a result, I have a mediocre education. Don’t get me wrong, I did graduate, but unlike Susie, not with honors, not to mention I never went to college. Therefore, I am writing to you so you can have a chance to get your priorities straight, which means spending more time on schoolwork and less time playing and/or harassing girls, because I’m what will happen if you don’t. Sincerely, Future Calvin. P.S. I gave Hobbes to charity.”
Calvin, school is neither the time nor the place to be a smart aleck.