Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis

Pearls Before Swine

Comments (61) (Please sign in to comment)

  1. Ken

    Ken said, 9 months ago

    For once I like Rat’s improvement.

  2. Sherlock Watson

    Sherlock Watson said, 9 months ago

    “Revised” nursery rhyme from when I was a kid:
    Jack and Jill went up the hill
    To have a little fun,
    But stupid Jill forgot her pill
    So now they have a son.

  3. TEMPLO S.U.D.

    TEMPLO S.U.D. said, 9 months ago

    I seem to recall Schwarzenegger versions of Mother Goose in Boy Scout camp. One went as such: Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jumped over the dynamite stick. He wasn’t quick enough; he blew up.

  4. AlnicoV

    AlnicoV said, 9 months ago

    Mary had a little lamb
    She liked it so very well,
    one day she got some dynamite
    and blew it straight to Hell…

  5. Nabuquduriuzhur

    Nabuquduriuzhur said, 9 months ago


    That’s like a Pink Panther spoof where

    Mary had little lamb

    with mint sauce and french fries.

  6. Bruno Zeigerts

    Bruno Zeigerts said, 9 months ago

    Hey, Goat… you should read the original versions of fairy tales!

  7. FabulousJewels

    FabulousJewels said, 9 months ago

    Jack be drinking
    Jack be stopped
    Jack be arrested
    By the #$%^&*@ cops

  8. Aaron Myhre

    Aaron Myhre said, 9 months ago

    Mary had a little lamb, a little beef, a little ham, some tofu and threw up.

  9. Nabuquduriuzhur

    Nabuquduriuzhur said, 9 months ago

    There was a little Rat

    With a big head

    Who loved to hurt others

    And make others dread.

    One day his “friends”

    Got tired of Rat.

    And drew straws

    To fix the brat.

    Then came a day

    With Rat up to old tricks.

    He made for indigestion

    Inside a cat named Trix.

  10. dukedoug

    dukedoug said, 9 months ago


    As we all used to sing at school:

    Mary had a little lamb
    Its fleece was black as charcoal
    And every time it wagged its tail
    Sparks flew out its a..hole …

  11. hariseldon59

    hariseldon59 said, 9 months ago

    Some nursery rhymes already end in tragedy anyway: Humpty Dumpty, Jack and Jill.

  12. Sisyphos

    Sisyphos said, 9 months ago

    Rat’s right, again. I always figured Jack for an insurance risk, and now that he’s drinking and jumping….
    Don’t drink and jump, kids! —Get a designated jumper!

  13. daDoctah

    daDoctah said, 9 months ago


    Mary had a little lamb.
    It was one of the largest.
    They caught her with it late one night
    And brought her up on charges.

  14. DragonT

    DragonT said, 9 months ago

    You all realize Rat has a ghost writer called Stephan Pastis.

  15. A Common 'tater

    A Common 'tater said, 9 months ago

    Mary had a little lamb… the midwife was shocked.

  16. Load 15 more comments. | Load the rest (46).