Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis

Pearls Before Swine

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  1. Ken

    Ken said, 12 months ago

    For once I like Rat’s improvement.

  2. Sherlock Watson

    Sherlock Watson said, 12 months ago

    “Revised” nursery rhyme from when I was a kid:
    Jack and Jill went up the hill
    To have a little fun,
    But stupid Jill forgot her pill
    So now they have a son.

  3. TEMPLO S.U.D.

    TEMPLO S.U.D. said, 12 months ago

    I seem to recall Schwarzenegger versions of Mother Goose in Boy Scout camp. One went as such: Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jumped over the dynamite stick. He wasn’t quick enough; he blew up.

  4. AlnicoV

    AlnicoV said, 12 months ago

    Mary had a little lamb
    She liked it so very well,
    one day she got some dynamite
    and blew it straight to Hell…

  5. Nabuquduriuzhur

    Nabuquduriuzhur said, 12 months ago


    That’s like a Pink Panther spoof where

    Mary had little lamb

    with mint sauce and french fries.

  6. Bruno Zeigerts

    Bruno Zeigerts said, 12 months ago

    Hey, Goat… you should read the original versions of fairy tales!

  7. FabulousJewels

    FabulousJewels said, 12 months ago

    Jack be drinking
    Jack be stopped
    Jack be arrested
    By the #$%^&*@ cops

  8. Aaron Myhre

    Aaron Myhre said, 12 months ago

    Mary had a little lamb, a little beef, a little ham, some tofu and threw up.

  9. Nabuquduriuzhur

    Nabuquduriuzhur said, 12 months ago

    There was a little Rat

    With a big head

    Who loved to hurt others

    And make others dread.

    One day his “friends”

    Got tired of Rat.

    And drew straws

    To fix the brat.

    Then came a day

    With Rat up to old tricks.

    He made for indigestion

    Inside a cat named Trix.

  10. dukedoug

    dukedoug said, 12 months ago


    As we all used to sing at school:

    Mary had a little lamb
    Its fleece was black as charcoal
    And every time it wagged its tail
    Sparks flew out its a..hole …

  11. hariseldon59

    hariseldon59 said, 12 months ago

    Some nursery rhymes already end in tragedy anyway: Humpty Dumpty, Jack and Jill.

  12. Sisyphos

    Sisyphos said, 12 months ago

    Rat’s right, again. I always figured Jack for an insurance risk, and now that he’s drinking and jumping….
    Don’t drink and jump, kids! —Get a designated jumper!

  13. daDoctah

    daDoctah said, 12 months ago


    Mary had a little lamb.
    It was one of the largest.
    They caught her with it late one night
    And brought her up on charges.

  14. DragonT

    DragonT said, 12 months ago

    You all realize Rat has a ghost writer called Stephan Pastis.

  15. PICTO

    PICTO said, 12 months ago

    Mary had a little lamb.
    Her daddy shot it dead.
    And now she takes her lamb to school
    between two slabs of bread.

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