Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis

Pearls Before Swine

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  1. Alexikakos

    Alexikakos said, over 1 year ago

    Three construction workers are on the seventy-fifth floor of a non-finished building. The italian opens his lunch box to find a pizza and says “Man, if I get pizza one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!” The chinese opens his lunch box to find rice and says “Man, if I get rice one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!” The blonde opens his lunch box to find a cheeseburger and says" Man, if I get a cheeseburger one more time im going to jump off this building and fall to my death!"
    So the next day they all got the same thing and they jumped off the building to their death. That weekend at the funeral, the italian and the chinese wives are crying and saying “I would have fixed him something else for lunch but he never told me.” And as the two wives stare at the blondes wife, they both ask why she isn’t sad about her husbands death, the blonde replys “Don’t look at me, he packs his own lunch.”

  2. margueritem

    margueritem GoComics PRO Member said, over 1 year ago

    SNERK!!

  3. BRI-NO-MITE!!

    BRI-NO-MITE!! said, over 1 year ago

    We always used to fight over the race car. Nobody wanted to be the cannon.

  4. Rad-ish

    Rad-ish GoComics PRO Member said, over 1 year ago

    There was always one more person who wanted to play than there were tokens.

  5. Odd Dog

    Odd Dog GoComics PRO Member said, over 1 year ago

    @Alexikakos

    What do you call 3 blondes standing next too each other?

  6. Odd Dog

    Odd Dog GoComics PRO Member said, over 1 year ago

    A wind tunnel

  7. jukeofurl

    jukeofurl said, over 1 year ago

    Answer: Where do you think BB’s come from?

  8. BRI-NO-MITE!!

    BRI-NO-MITE!! said, over 1 year ago

    @Rad-ish

    Too many players? Borrow the pistol and the knife from the Clue game.

  9. AlexanderTheGoodEnough

    AlexanderTheGoodEnough said, over 1 year ago

    @Alexikakos

    In my experience, it’s the bleached blondes that have given blondes their unfortunate reputation. And it figures that the bleached ones tend to be very much higher maintenance. But of course, why is it that brunettes tell blonde jokes? Because it gives the brunettes something to do on a Saturday night.

  10. Varnes

    Varnes said, over 1 year ago

    Our family Monopoly game had a white wooden token from some other game and nobody knew how it got there, but it was the most popular…BTW, we did Free Parking cash, even though it’s not in the rules….

  11. Bruno Zeigerts

    Bruno Zeigerts said, over 1 year ago

    ‘We can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults we are. Isn’t that right, Mr. Poopy pants?’

  12. firedome

    firedome said, over 1 year ago

    of course they do. it’s called sh….

    RAPNEL!

  13. Ji2m

    Ji2m said, over 1 year ago

    BBs

  14. Sisyphos

    Sisyphos said, over 1 year ago

    Talk among yourselves. Never had a Monopoly set. Did have clue, with its array of weapons….
    As i said yesterday, I voted for the ouster of the thimble, and I am not convinced that dropping the iron in flavor of a cat was at all wise….

  15. c.davies

    c.davies GoComics PRO Member said, over 1 year ago

    @Alexikakos

    Love it! HaHaHa

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