Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis

Pearls Before Swine

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  1. hariseldon59

    hariseldon59 said, almost 4 years ago

    It’s payback time!

  2. Alexikakos

    Alexikakos said, almost 4 years ago

    Oh, if only it were that easy!!!
    Thank you, Stephan.

  3. Alexikakos

    Alexikakos said, almost 4 years ago

    As a side note, I had occasion to phone my city’s police department on the non-emergency line to report some vandalism of a building.
    There was a full two minutes of push this, push that, before I actually got to talk to a human. A not very polite human either.
    Not what anyone wants of a police department. I certainly won’t be in any hurry to call them again.

  4. simpsonfan2

    simpsonfan2 said, almost 4 years ago

    Something similar in today’s De-flocked.

  5. Bilan

    Bilan said, almost 4 years ago

    My roommate’s schtick is to ask the telemarketer for their phone number so that she can call them back.

  6. herdleader1953

    herdleader1953 said, almost 4 years ago

    @Bilan. When I worked as a telemarketer and one would ask for my home number I always gave it out. I then reminded them that I wouldn’t get off work until 11PM EST and it was usually @ 11:30PM by the time I got home. I needed a few minutes to get supper started so they really should call me after midnight. No one ever called.

  7. Alms4Thorby

    Alms4Thorby said, almost 4 years ago

    Put snuffles on it, Rat.

  8. Tirasmol

    Tirasmol said, almost 4 years ago

    I am so stealing this and doing it myself next time I get a call.

  9. Sisyphos

    Sisyphos said, almost 4 years ago

    Automated-response phone trees are why I don’t respond to the annoying calls that ignore the “do not call” regulations—at least not in the way they would want….

  10. Rodney

    Rodney said, almost 4 years ago


    I would. I’m usually up all night, and it would be WORTH it!

  11. Proginoskes

    Proginoskes said, almost 4 years ago

    Right on!

    Now say something like: If you are going to bill me, make sure to include the following number on the bill: 8264519035417835230637694417408769925193582533702541698982463317002622183769342. And charge them $100 to repeat the number …

  12. F6F5Hellcat

    F6F5Hellcat said, almost 4 years ago

    That’s something you just want to do to some of the folks that call. Especially banks and credit card companies you don’t have an account with but who insist you’re late on your payments to them. Me, I’d just like to be prepared with a sound effects CD cued to a crowded place then pick up the phone and act like it’s a pizza joint in the middle of the busy hours. Then start taking an order while their trying to run through their spiel. But I never have one ready for them and their either a recording or they sound like their from India.

  13. blunebottle

    blunebottle said, almost 4 years ago


    I heard that suggestion once, as well. So, the next time a telemarketer phoned at dinner time, I was ready. I said: “I’m sorry, but we’re having dinner right now, but if you’ll give me your home phone number, I’ll be glad to call you back”…….and guess what? She started to rattle it off!
    I said: “No, no, you don’t get it- I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU!!”

  14. blunebottle

    blunebottle said, almost 4 years ago


    … must have been the one.

  15. WCLamb

    WCLamb said, almost 4 years ago

    When a telemarketer calls and asks for “X” — all one needs to do is say “just a moment, I’ll go get him (or her).” Then set down the phone. And leave it. The telemarketer will wait a fairly long time before hanging up, realizing that nobody is coming to the phone. Meanwhile, they aren’t annoying anyone else.

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