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Pearls Before Swine

By Stephan Pastis
158,806
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Nov 18, 2011
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Voice: Let's see... you skip church... get drunk... and think only about making money... if that's not a prescription for salvation, I don't know what is. Rat: Shut your face. I've got a plan. Voice: Lemme guess... you're gonna keep doing whatever you want, but ask for forgiveness in the seconds before you die, hoping like heck that your death doesn't one day catch you by surprise. Rat: Who talked? Voice: About two million other consciences. Rat confronts the conscience he locked away years ago.
Nov 20, 2011
Small u 201701251613
  1. Missing large
    AGED_ENGINEER GC Insider about 6 years ago

    I think Rat needs to locate Father Mole again before it is too late.

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    doc white  about 6 years ago

    Hell,(sorry) isn’t that what most do. Not realy sorry.

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  3. Thinker
    Sisyphos  about 6 years ago

    Rat is condemned to rathood for all eternity! Learn from this, ratty ones!

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    spamster  about 6 years ago

    only 2 billion? Mr Pastis must be an optimist.

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    Ottodesu  about 6 years ago

    This one is deep, close to the bone. “About two billion” sounds about right, give or take a couple of billion.

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  6. Hillbilly1
    Hillbillyman  about 6 years ago

    Attenting church don’t make you a righteous person. Some folks use Church as a social club; as my grandmothers once said RIP…“They go to see, and be seen.”

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    jukeofurl  about 6 years ago

    Those 2 billion + the opiated are amateurs. Once God asks me for forgiveness, I’ll ask. An I for an I. . ..

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    tigre1  about 6 years ago

    Hallelujah…etc. (Who talked?)

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  9. Snoopyhockey
    cdward  about 6 years ago

    Latest stats I’ve read place Christians world-wide at about 2 billion. Muslims at 1.3 billion. Hindus at 900 million. Agnostic/Atheist at 850 million. And so on. I’m sure the numbers are changing all the time.

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    SusanSunshine GC Insider about 6 years ago

    EtherAir — Do you think only “Christians” have a conscience?

    Even at that, seems like you’re counting only Protestants, not all Christians.

    You’re leaving out huge populations — Catholic Latin America, Eastern Orthodox Russia, Coptic Ethiopia, etc.

    Yes, there are 2 billion Christians.

    And a billion and a half Muslims ….. almost a billion Hindus….

    Millions of Buddhists, Jains… .hey, even a few Jews…..

    I’m sure you can find a conscience or two there, if you look.

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    SusanSunshine GC Insider about 6 years ago

    oops….cdward, you posted while I was typing…. sorry.

    But I’ll leave it cos of the rest of my post.

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  12. Oldwolfcookoff
    The Old Wolf  about 6 years ago

    Intriguing strip. Rat is a jerk, and it’s fun (and a bit painful) to watch his antics because we all know people like this. Rat is also totally clueless about his jerkitude, because he can’t seen past the end of his own pointy nose. His conscience, however, is calling him to account, and he’s not terribly happy about it.

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    tigre1  about 6 years ago

    “Up in the attic…the locked box…” sound familiar? What about a useful friendly interface that decodes all the messages for better behavior that are stored there, and there’s a processor that down-loads into your deepest mind those lessons and more socially-appropriate strategies for a more effective future?

    No, Rat will just put it in a rocket bound for Alpha Centuri, or somewhere. Bon voyage…or not. “Might be some neat-o stuff in there. Let’s look…Oh mi god, it’ sPandora! how are you, baby?” Ooops.

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    Lee Dawson  about 6 years ago

    Faith is fine, its the implementation of it in man made denominations that screws things up. Many people I believe would like to attend a church where they are welcome to be a part of it and have input rather than what most are like – run by a special handful that keep things the way they have always been; no changes allowed. Sorry but as a former minister, I have found a lot of people who would love church if they were truly welcome. My Christian faith is strong but I have lost my love for organized religion. There is a world of difference between Christianity and religion.

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    rolleg  about 6 years ago

    2 billion Christians. Uh. What if one added all those who proclaimed to be Christian from the beginning of Christianity. 2 billion at this specific point in time; probably. But since the beginnning of Christianity, let’s say 30 A.D., it’s going to be a lot more.

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    finale  about 6 years ago

    “Say there ain’t no Heaven…pray there ain’t no Hell”

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    bahramthered  about 6 years ago

    I love all this talk about christianity and church attendance making you morale. Look at the areas that have the highest percent of christian and highest level professed belief have the most of all the things they claim are immoral, like out of wedlock children, extramarital affairs, divorce, murder, and gay sex.

    My theory is having the all powerful master of the universe willing to forgive you for anything is a pretty nice license to do whatever you want.

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    VegaAlopex  about 6 years ago

    OOOH! This is TOO close to reality!

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    packet  about 6 years ago

    Shoot… Pastis described me to a T with this strip…

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  20. Av 5363
    prasrinivara GC Insider about 6 years ago

    Not true; there has been much growth in non-mainstream church in many countries:

    UNOFFICIAL Christian population of China is 100-200 millionUNOFFICIAL Christian population of Indonesia is over 40 million (officially less than 20)My M-I-L recently told me that in Guntur City (where she lives) over half the population have become Christians—which when extrapolated means UNOFFICIAL Christian population (to become officially recognised as having changed religion, the convert has to fill out a double-ream of forms) of India to be around 8% (5% by conversion and 3% by census) or 100 million

    Also, the total numbers of nominal Christians include nominal Roman Catholics (of which you have around 500 million from Rio Grande to Cape Horn)

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  21. Oldwolfcookoff
    The Old Wolf  about 6 years ago

    Person of faith or person of reason, our obligation is the same: say less, do more. All of us can be involved in raising the human condition, and the less said about who is right and who is defective the better.

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    abaffuto  about 6 years ago

    Yeah..who ratted us out?

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    OilCanHarry  about 6 years ago

    Religion is not synonymous with spirituality. The former should never be considered a valid substitute for the latter.

    Just in case this forum still qualifies as polite company, let me say two words: Politics. Abortion.

    There, that should finish the job.

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  24. Reading the comics
    Paladin39  about 6 years ago

    I’d like a Bently with a wet bar please.

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    Gafferjack  about 6 years ago

    These days, if you can’t find a church/faith that suits you, then the sad truth is that you’re not really looking.

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    FlippySuper  about 6 years ago

    If you ask forgivness in the last second and you are not sorry,it doesnt count rat.

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    jmorris9999 GC Insider about 6 years ago

    No, Christians go to church, along with a whole bunch of people unclear on the concept.

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    corzak  about 6 years ago

    Constantine the Great made Christianity the state religion of the Roman Empire, and so billions of us are Christian today. (As opposed to Mithraism, Sol Invictus, etc.).Constantine deliberately waited to the very end of his life to accept baptism/unction, in order to freely carry out the ruthlessness required to rule the empire (including slaughtering a wife or two, children, nephews, etc.) and then ‘have all his sins washed clean’, thus setting a precedent.

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    3hourtour GC Insider about 6 years ago

    ..and to think I just came here for the laughs…

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    yatman  about 6 years ago

    Lighten up, people! It’s a comic strip, for Gawd’s sake!

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    shredder32  about 6 years ago

    Christianity is growing rapidly in China, of all places. It is also very much a “Southern Hemisphere” phenomenon right now. All that could change with the time and tide of history, but at this time, that is the reality.

    Anyway, what Rat describes is pretty much what I see in most folks who say “they are spiritual but not religious.” I.e., let me do things my way, but let me sound all holy at the same time.

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    PShaw0423  about 6 years ago

    TheTrustedMechanic said: “So I go about my life, thanking God for the blessings in my life, treating others with the same respect and consideration as I would want to me treated, and hoping that the Lord Almighty will look favorably upon me when he calls me from this earth.” That’s the essence of Christianity of all denominations, and of morality and virtue of all times, places, and creeds..Morality isn’t in going to church…it’s in wanting to go to church, to love and give thanks to God. Maybe most who go there just go “to see and be seen” — they’re missing out on the best part, and they’ll never know it until it’s too late..In the same way, morality isn’t merely in saying “Forgive me!”…it’s in realizing with grief that you’ve done things that need to be forgiven, and in wanting to be forgiven, and in asking for forgiveness with “a humble and contrite heart”..It’s true: you know a tree by its fruit, not by a label thumbtacked to the bark.

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    squirrel500  about 6 years ago

    Nah… I’d say 2 TRILLION

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    Number Three (Free Afficionado)  about 6 years ago

    LOL LOL, You tell him!

    xxx

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  35. Image
    bobdingus  about 6 years ago

    Who said anything about Christians?

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  36. Galleyoar1
    GalleyOar  about 6 years ago

    Next time Rat returns as a Cockroach.

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  37. Pocounowithtoys
    pocounohamster  about 6 years ago

    Love it when Rat hides his conscious…it is always funny to see he has one…like with the cans on his tail from a few years back..

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  38. Yellow pig small
    bmonk  about 6 years ago

    Pastis seems to have hit a sensitive nerve or 50. Yes, Christians are sinners—as well as other people. That’s why we need help from God. And (we Christians believe) God sent Jesus, his own son, to help us—and in turn Jesus founded the Church (as Catholics and Orthodox and maybe some of the othersbelieve) to guide and help us on our way. So, of course the Church is full of hypocrites and sinners. That’s not why I go, nor why I stay away. I stay to help those I can, and to get the help of those who can help me—most of all, the help of God.If the Church were full of perfect people, I wouldn’t be welcome. But it is full of sinners, so I fit into it.+++++Of course, the odd thing is the slew of people who think they can fool, not just themselves, nor even other people, but God. Or those who trust their own faulty judgment and understanding over the judgment and understanding of God, given to us so long ago through his own Son.

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  39. Suducko
    Logical Duck  about 6 years ago

    People who wait till the eleventh hour often die at 10:30.

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    WaitingMan  about 6 years ago

    I was born into a Jewish family but have been an atheist since I was ten (48 years and counting). My mother once asked me why I didn’t fast on Yom Kippur. I told her “I’ll atone for my sins when god atones for his.”

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  41. Puppies dachshund
    veganswimmer  about 6 years ago

    This concious thing, is hysterical. I guess if Rat did not have one, as it sometimes would seem, he would be a psychopath and he is not quite that bad. lol So, its locked up in a trunk, aha! addie

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  42. Ts
    killacowinWA  about 6 years ago

    Wonder what Pastis thinks of all these conversations.

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    sstacks  about 6 years ago

    Going to church doesn’t save you. Being a Christian (different from simply going to church) doesn’t make you necessarily a more moral person… it mainly means you have realized you are a sinner and have sought God’s forgiveness through Jesus Christ. Plenty of nice sinners and mean Christians… Christians, however, recognize they need God.

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  44. Missing large
    shredder32  about 6 years ago

    Anyone remember when the religious wing of the Republican party got all worked up over one issue and divided the country? Probably not, since no one was alive during the Civil War.

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  45. Missing large
    jr1408  about 6 years ago

    Hindsight is always 20/20

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    SMSM  about 6 years ago

    Rat is (sadly) not alone

    R.I.P. Bill Keane – Hope Patis does a tribute to him

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  47. Download
    AIYA_AIYA  over 2 years ago

    Sheesh, just a little add-in…mentioning “skipped church”, and suddenly we’ve got a raging debate going on.

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