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Pearls Before Swine

By Stephan Pastis
158,785
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Nov 14, 2009
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Voice says, "Hi. This is Dr. Smith's office calling to remind you of your dental cleaning tomorrow." Rat says, "Can?t make it." Voice says, "May I ask why?" Rat says, "Profanity. It offends me. And it's unprofessional." Voice says, "I didn't use profanity." Rat says, "Car won't start." Voice says, "You live a block away." Rat says, "Two broken feet." Voice says, "We'll send a cab." Rat says, "Can't afford it." Voice says, "We'll pay." Rat says, "Mom died." Voice says, "You said that last year." Rat says, "Dad this time." Voice says, "You don't know which?" Rat says, "Hard to keep track." Voice says, "Of your parents?!" Rat says, "When you're training for a marathon." Voice says, "On two broken feet?!" Rat says, "I drive the course." Voice says, "Your car won't start!" Rat says, "I take a cab." Voice says ,"You've got no money!" Rat says, "Mom died again." Voice says, "Either you give me a valid excuse or get your @#$^## rear in here!!!" Rat says, "Profanity it offends me." Click Rat says, "So unprofessional."
Nov 16, 2009
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