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1. 

   pbarnrob said, 4 months ago

   Science Friday on NPR just ran a whole special sequence on home-made pyrotechnics. I kinda hope the stupidity of some listeners isn’t escalated into a large-scale disaster, but there will be some applicants for Darwin awards every year…

2. 

   yyyguy said, 4 months ago

   famous last words.
   from a hypochondriac: “I told you I was sick.”

3. 

   rayannina said, 4 months ago

   “HEY, Y’ALL, WATCH ME DO THIS!!!”

4. 

   joeday07 said, 4 months ago

   “I gooonnnaa killl whooevverrr packed this parrachuute!”

5. 

   Wildmustang1262 said, 4 months ago

   Happiest 4th of July!

6. 

   daze62 said, 4 months ago

   “Hit me. NO, NOT WITH THA…”

7. 

   jml58 said, 4 months ago

   less fingers= less fun.

   Happy birthday america.

8. 

   daze62 said, 4 months ago

   “Is this gun loaded?”

9. 

   daze62 said, 4 months ago

   “Sure. It’s perfectly safe. Let me show you.”

10. 

    michael moore said, 4 months ago

    What does this button do?

11. 

    grazer said, 4 months ago

    “This fuse is plenny long enough when you’re as fast as I…..”

12. 

    GrinsToYa said, 4 months ago

    Every year I go on vacation during the 4th of July holiday… and every year I expect to come home to smoldering ciders because of my neighbors independence exuberance… and so far I’ve rounded the corner to see my home each year… but today strip… livens my fears once again.

13. 

    forrest11 said, 4 months ago

    daze62 - best!

14. 

    Josh 1360 said, 4 months ago

    Hammie from “Baby Blues”: “Oh…I’m supposed to let go of the M-80 after I lit it!”.

15. 

    DesultoryPhillipic said, 4 months ago

    Who greased the grapevine?

16. 

    Superfrog said, 4 months ago

    I’ll bet the headstone is way bigger than the coffin.

17. 

    Greg Sagan said, 4 months ago

    Lend me a match. I think I’m out of gas.

18. 

    Bdaysuit said, 4 months ago

    Quit worrying, I’ve done this a thousand times. Nothing’s going to go wrong.

19. 

    Lewreader said, 4 months ago

    Uncle Wiley used to do this. You remember Uncle Wiley?

20. 

    pearlandpeach said, 4 months ago

    please don;t tell Crankshaft that it maight be possible to make your own……

21. 

    AddADadaAdDad said, 4 months ago

    Whoosh! !!BOOM!! OUCH!

22. 

    cleokaya said, 4 months ago

    No, no, no. I don’t need a tow truck. It’ a small hill I can push it up. Let go of the emegency brake…NOW!

23. 

    aerwalt said, 4 months ago

    OOOPS!

24. 

    SQUIDBREAKER said, 4 months ago

    FREEDOM

    On 2004, the 1st of June the clock on the wall well past high noon
    A message sent down from HaShem’s creation - it would illustrate true freedom

    At first the great sight would likely draw expressions of shock, delight and awe: An eagle perched on a mound of wood would bring to mind out freedom

    As loud human voices were sounded near the eagle bravely showed no fear -yet why he did not fly away shed’s light the Torah’s freedom

    When all had noticed the eagle crawled, the experts of raptors had to be called; a disaster left the eagle maimed and it had no flight of freedom

    The eagle then blinded with a sheet would let its new keeper hold its feet ; soon the calm submission which overflowed would restore the eagle’s freedom

    He trusted in the caring hands that prepared for him the healing plans; a cardboard box was now his home when earlier blue skies he roamed

    But even dark skies and all of nature are owned by HaShem our creator: to His law we must submit our life to understand true freedom

    The unsaved souls that watched this all still missing their heavenly Father’s call for still their lives they won’t lay down -then they named the Eagle ‘Freedom’.

    When will they see their own lives restored if they would bow and call HaShem their Lord and believe the truth within His Word would light their life with freedom?

    God sent an eagle minds would cherish - a last call so that none would perish in the fiery trials of tribulation if they still refuse Torah’s freedom.

25. 

    Hugh B. Hayve said, 4 months ago

    “Oh, don’t worry. It’s not one of the poisonous ones”

26. 

    LordDogmore said, 4 months ago

    And the ever popular :”Nice doogie, good doggie.”

27. 

    ColoradoRider said, 4 months ago

    Instructions?! Who reads the instructions….?

28. 

    NoBrandName said, 4 months ago

    There’s that old adage about an infinity of monkeys at an infinity of typewriters eventually recreating the entire works of Shakespeare. I always thought that whoever came up with that completely missed the point, or was being intentionally sarcastic to see if their audience understood the real point. Infinity is so large that, given the infinity scenario, an infinite subset of those monkeys would immediately start producing those same works of Shakespeare (not to mention every other written work ever produced by humans). Of course, most would just produce random nonsense.

    Apologies for the non-sequitur, for some reason reading EMET’s post reminded me of that…

29. 

    Dracip said, 4 months ago

    Hey, happy Canada Day everybody! wait, that’s not right…Happy Memor…. no that can’t be right either …let me check the calender, maybe that could help me..sound of footsteps walking away…

30. 

    Dracip said, 4 months ago

    Hey, happy 4th of July, y’all….

31. 

    the GhostPony said, 4 months ago

    Fireworks… because fingers are highly overrated.

32. 

    Reynard61 said, 4 months ago

    No “Not with a bang, but a whimper” for that guy…

33. 

    big G 3469 said, 4 months ago

    Ouch! words to live by. To all who do have fireworks to light “safe or sane” or “extreme” (without the “law” harassing them) do have a Happy & Safe Forth of July”

    “Be safe. Fireworks are cool if YOU don’t use they like a fool or in a foolish or foolhardy manner”.

34. 

    alife said, 4 months ago

    Independence Day has a GREAT meaning for me ALL of July My Dad died on the 4th! My Mom said he went out with a bang! He Loved PUNS.
    Happy 4th folks, Everyday is special…

35. 

    Sternvogel said, 4 months ago

    “They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist … ”

    – Attributed to General John Sedgwick, Battle of Spotsylvania, American Civil War

36. 

    AKHenderson said, 4 months ago

    On the Redcoat’s TOMBstone:

    “They’re just a bunch of farmers and shopkeepers. What can they possibly do?”

    HAPPY FOURTH!

37. 

    Dracip said, 4 months ago

    Good one AK!

38. 

    lindz.coop said, 4 months ago

    And having worked on a children’s burn unit – a word of caution – take it out of your back pocket before lighting!!