Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller

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  1. madKanga

    madKanga said, 4 months ago

    ALL Lawyers have trouble getting sympathy. Employed ones have so much money they do not need it.

  2. Becca

    Becca said, 4 months ago

    Time for the lawyer jokes!

    Q: Why won’t a shark bite a lawyer?

    A: Professional curtesy

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q: If a barge holding 500 lawyers sank, what would you call it?

    A: A good start.

  3. rmleon

    rmleonGenius_badge said, 4 months ago

    The most laughable profession is psychotherapy. I like the therapist gags.

  4. Dracip

    Dracip said, 4 months ago

    rmleon, don’t we all need therapy? Well, except for me of course….

  5. ambellybutton

    ambellybuttonGenius_badge said, 4 months ago

    The sign is not off the mark by much, which is why most people hate lawyers. Hence, the expression that something is funny only if there is some element of truth in it…

  6. green_engineer

    green_engineer said, 4 months ago

    I have reason to believe that we’re getting billed just for reading this strip…

  7. michael moore

    michael moore said, 4 months ago

    Easy now…not all lawyers work for Michael Jackson.

  8. okeedoekee

    okeedoekee said, 4 months ago

    “Dewy, Cheatum, and Howe”

    Taken without permission from Click and Clack on NPR

  9. DesultoryPhillipic

    DesultoryPhillipic said, 4 months ago

    Who took it from the Three Stooges.

  10. iamthepapa643

    iamthepapa643 said, 4 months ago

    Ques? What do you call people who don’t use a lawyer?
    Ans: Inmates

  11. Lewreader

    LewreaderGenius_badge said, 4 months ago

    I never knew my wife until I met her lawyer

  12. okeedoekee

    okeedoekee said, 4 months ago

    So ,she wasn’t talking or you weren’t listening?
    Oh, that it could be so simple.

  13. pearlandpeach

    pearlandpeach said, 4 months ago

    ouch! now i find out i actually llke something the Stooges said….oh, the pain!

  14. algurka

    algurkaGenius_badge said, 4 months ago

    Learned one thing from dealing with lawyers and divorces: if you have any questions, pack them all into one phone call, because your lawyer will bill you for the hour whether it’s one minute or 60, and if you call back with another question, the billing starts all over. So, keep reading and re-reading this cartoon for another 59 minutes to get your money’s worth!

  15. Kim

    Kim said, 4 months ago

    Dewey,Cheatum and Howe have been around since before NPR,one of the oldest firms that there is

  16. GuntotingLiberal

    GuntotingLiberal said, 4 months ago

    The devil visited a lawyer’s office and made him an offer. “I can arrange some things for you, ” the devil said. “I’ll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you’ll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife’s soul, your children’s souls, and their children’s souls rot in hell for eternity.”

    The lawyer thought for a moment. “What’s the catch?” he asked.

  17. Ji2m

    Ji2m said, 4 months ago

    A lawyer died and made the trip up to the pearly gates. Saint Peter looked him up in the book, and with a puzzled look on his face asked, “How old were you when you died?”

    The attorney replied, “35 years old.”

    “Well, you can’t be the right man, he’s supposed to live to the ripe old age of 105,” St Peter said.

    “Well,” averred the attorney, “that is my name and I was 35 years old when I passed away.”

    Then St. Peter exclaimed, “I see the error! We calculated your age based on the hours you billed your clients.” :)

  18. Maizing

    Maizing said, 4 months ago

    Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?

    A: One is a bottom dwelling scum sucker, the other is a fish.

  19. thepeoplesmushroom

    thepeoplesmushroom said, 4 months ago

    pearlandpeach-

    the Stooges are genius, everyone knows that. I mean EVERYONE knows that.

  20. ariel1

    ariel1 said, 4 months ago

    What do you have if you have 500 Lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?

    Not enough Sand.




















                                        • – – - – - - - -
                                          Have you heard that AIDS researchers are thinking of using lawyers instead of Rats?



















    1) There are as many Lawyers as there are Rats;

    2) The lab assistants won’t become as attached to the Lawyers as they do the Rats,

    3) There’s some things you can’t even get a Rat to do.








                • – - - - - - - - - - - - – - - - - - - -







    What’s the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead Lawyer in the road?

    Skid marks before the snake.

  21. DD FENCE EMET

    DD FENCE EMET said, 4 months ago

    I would trip on the bucket and sue the attorney!

    A.

  22. Wildmustang1262

    Wildmustang1262 said, 4 months ago

    Good grief! That man who holds the sign and needs the money to pay him for being a lawyer. He is just a panhandler! Beg for bloody money! Scats! Take a hike!

  23. GuntotingLiberal

    GuntotingLiberal said, 4 months ago

    Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
    A: Shoot the lawyer twice.

  24. grazer

    grazer said, 4 months ago

    LOL!—lovin’ the lawyer jokes!

  25. Sternvogel

    Sternvogel said, 4 months ago

    The devil somehow goes up to Heaven and trashes the place. God discovers the mess and yells: “I’m going to sue you for damages!”

    “Oh, yeah?”, Satan retorts. “Where are you gonna find a lawyer up here?”

  26. Carmy

    CarmyGenius_badge said, 4 months ago

    A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, “you do God’s work.” The next morning the barber found a dozen Bibles at the door to his shop.

    A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying, “you protect the public.” The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts at the door to his shop.

    A lawyer came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying, “you serve the justice system.” The next morning the barber found a dozen lawyers waiting for a free haircut.

  27. DD FENCE EMET

    DD FENCE EMET said, 4 months ago

    @ sternvogel:

    The ultimate defense lawyer is in charge of heaven.
    ;Our defense is of HaShem.’

    He also is in charge of military strategies for those who love truth and hate lies.

    So there is at least one lawyer that rises above the rest.

  28. MurphyHerself

    MurphyHerself said, 4 months ago

    Huh??

  29. Ji2m

    Ji2m said, 4 months ago

    Speaking of the Three Stooges, does anybody happen to watch “Whale Wars” on Animal Planet?

    It’s hilarious to watch these morons go off in the totally wrong direction, nearly maim themselves, etc. because the crew has more good intentions than common sense…

  30. yyyguy

    yyyguyGenius_badge said, 4 months ago

    love the stooges. deal with lawyers as seldom as possible.

  31. johnnydoc5

    johnnydoc5 said, 4 months ago

    The Stooges were comic geniuses, they had a lot of names like that, unfortunately, I can’t remember them.

    I also love the lawyer jokes.

  32. Kali48

    Kali48 said, 4 months ago

    Then there was the lawyer who sued the devil in the State court for destroying his career and making his life a mess. The judge dismissed the case because the defendant wasn’t a resident of the State.

    And everyone knows the devil resides in his office at the IRS. :-)

  33. alife

    alife said, 4 months ago

    I O.K. I HAD to look DNA working butt hurts sitting soo much

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dewey,>Cheatem&_Howe

    Also Cheetem, Cheethem and Cheatham

  34. keenanthelibrarian

    keenanthelibrarian said, 4 months ago

    There was a joke once in the Harvard Business Review - a guy in an office answers the phone:

    “No, I’m sorry, you have a wrong number. I am a lawyer. That’ll be $150.00.”

    Says it all, really.

  35. epeters55

    epeters55 said, 4 months ago

    What’s the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

    A rooster gets up every morning and clucks defiance.

  36. epeters55

    epeters55 said, 4 months ago

    What’s the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

    A rooster gets up every morning and clucks defiance.