Matt Wuerker for April 15, 2014
Transcript:
Form Wut? Department of the treasury individual income tax return 2013 Income Wages, salaries, tips. Attach form TBH1040. Other income: dividends, interest, farm, royalties. Fishing, gambling etc. Attach form J4F1099. Your total income Taxes Total from line 6d divided by Pi Multiply by maximum/minimum alternative tax. Add WTF tax (see table 2M2H) Divide by number of angels that can dance on the head of a pin. (see table LOL511) If line 10x is greater than the number of grants in Grant's tomb, multiply by the time of day. Put line 11b in, put line 11b out and shake line 11b all about... Turn yourself around, here's what it's all about!
The vast majority of the tax codes are EXEMPTIONS, mostly corporate, rich, or “connected” parties. One of the funniest I read was the convolutions to get the owner of a dry cleaning establishment a tax dodge. It got so detailed in making it apply to only one individual in the world, the Congressman writing it almost got down to counting how many hairs in the guy’s mustache.
Nobody loves paying taxes, but may I remind the chickenhawks who keep giving slight of hand compliments to our military folks that indeed, freedom isn’t free, and neither are highways, or bombs.