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Matt Bors

Jan 7, 2009
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They were wronged by history...now we're setting things straight...
The National Association For The Advancement of Kennedy People (A.K.A. the Democratic Party)
Man: Are you a descendant of the sacred Kennedy bloodline? If so, we want to put YOU in a government position you're completely unqualified for! 
Dear Leader
Can you prove your heritage? The ONE DROP RULE entitles you to a host of benefits. 
$20,000 grant for college (or booze)
PBS biopic
(your name here) 
The King of Camelot
Your very own sovereign tribal land!
Trespassers will be shot from a grassy knoll
At the NAAKP, we believe ALL Kennedys should get a fair shot at dynastic privilege. 
Man: Yesterday I was a fry cook, today I'm doing "Meet The Press."
JFK's great-great-grand-half nephew
Apply for assistance today while baby boomers still worship your family!
Jan 14, 2009
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