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Mar 14, 2008
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Sex Scandal Cheat Sheet
POLITICIANS: Clip out comic. Keep in your pocket. Refer to often. 
How Much Trouble Are You In? 
You're having an "improper relationship" with a...
Cute Intern
Call Girl
Dude In A Bathroom
Teenage Boy
Sea Cucumber
Will You Go To Jail? 
No
If you have enemies in high places.
Depends how far along you were when caught
Definitely
Depends on the state
Is your career over? 
LOL
Maybe
Surprisingly, no
Me thinks so
Again, depends on the state
THINK ABOUT THE WIFE (Remember her?). When making a public apology, don't force your shell-shocked woman to stand beside you. 
Mind racing
Blank stare
Aging before our eyes
Pale
Heartbroken
Considering a denial? Don't use these: 
Politician: I'm not gay. 
I would NEVER pay that much for sex!
I did not have sexual relations with that sea cucumber!
Mar 19, 2008
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