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Matt Bors

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Nov 19, 2007
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Georgia is having a severe water shortage, so the governor proposed a solution: EVERYONE PRAY FOR RAIN. 
Governor: It's an unfortunate reality: God only delivers potable water to those who BEG for it. 
PRAY DAY 2007
And it's not just how the weather works. Prayer is the driving force behind everything. 
Woman: It's the big secret in government. We really don't DO anything except sit around all day and PRAY. 
Woman: And drink coffee.
Why do you think America is so prosperous? Luck? No, we prayed hard for it! 
God's hearing horn
God: OK, Timmy in Kansas wants an XBox. That's doable. 
God: ...but I'm not helping Africa until I hear some pious pleas!
I DO WHAT THE VOICES IN MY HEAD TELL ME TO
But not everyone can get their way. The big issues are decided by a divine electoral college. 
God: Prayers for and against universal health care are dead even. It's all going to come down to Ohio and which side has the most knees on the ground.
Nov 23, 2007
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