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Matt Bors

Nov 12, 2007
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FOX Freedom Alert
News Anchor: An aging dam near Mosul, Iraq, is threatening to break, unleashing a 60-foot wall of water that will kill tens of thousands.*
* True
News Anchor: Which leads to the inevitable question: how much U.S. Military might should be used to solve this problem? 
Military Officer: We don't negotiate with DAMS, Tom. Iraqis live in constant terror of this thing collapsing. 
Military Officer: The DAM should DIE. 
News Anchor: Right, but you know what CRITICS will say - that we CAUSED the massive drowning that will obviously result. 
Pentagon: "Thousands will die to save thousands."
Military Officer: All their talk of "fixing" the dam simply leaves this potential killer in place. It's time to open the FLOODGATES OF FREEDOM! 
News Anchor: It's settled then: blow the dam. Blow it all to hell. 
News Anchor: After the break: should we drop orange floaties after liberation or is it THEIR responsibility to figure out the breaststroke?
Nov 16, 2007
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