Joe Heller by Joe Heller

Joe Heller

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  1. AlnicoV

    AlnicoV said, 9 months ago

    P.T. Barnum was correct about there being one born every minute.

  2. dtroutma

    dtroutma GoComics PRO Member said, 9 months ago

    To get a white-tail the size of a German shepherd?

  3. Joseph Houk

    Joseph Houk said, 9 months ago

    Of course, a lot of hunters don’t buy new stuff every year, so that’s just a bit inaccurate.

  4. MortyForTyrant

    MortyForTyrant said, 9 months ago

    A range-finder? That’s not sporting!

  5. TJDestry

    TJDestry GoComics PRO Member said, 9 months ago

    Freezer full of venison — Priceless!

  6. Michael wme
  7. masterskrain

    masterskrain GoComics PRO Member said, 9 months ago

    Hunting…The only “sport” where one team doesn’t even know they are playing until someone gets shot!

  8. piobaire

    piobaire said, 9 months ago

    Call it hunting. Call it culling the herd. Call it harvesting. That would be respectful of nature, especially if one eats the meat. It would be more respectful of the language, too.
    Deer just can’t handle firearms. So, how to level the playing field? My solution would be that to qualify as a “sportsman”, the hunter should be equipped only with knives, spears, and a bow and arrows. I only suggest the bow because humans, compared to deer, are pathetic at running.
    Calling it a “sport” implies that the deer have something of a chance to win, and not merely by running away to be a target someplace else, some other time. No, I won’t call it a sport until I see headlines like “Hunters, 43, Deer, 40”.

  9. Ransom D Stone

    Ransom D Stone said, 9 months ago

    @Doctor Warbucks

    Great post!

  10. hawgowar

    hawgowar said, 9 months ago

    Dunno where he buys his sporting goods, but he overpaid big time.

    Hat $6
    Vest $10
    2 way Radios are illegal in my state when hunting
    My recurve bow and arrows are about $400
    Compass $40 (GPS is for wussies)
    Gloves $15
    Jacket $75
    Pack (I use my old Army pack)
    Boots $150 (I put the best on my feet I can buy)
    Range finders are for wussies
    Hand warmers are also for wussies but are only $0.50 apiece
    Rain gear $50
    Knife $40
    Scent $20
    Multi tool (highly recommended) $100

    The price of a tree stand (if you use one – I do not) is about right.

    And once purchased, all but the arrows, scent and hand warmers do not need replacing for a long time.

    Deer have increased in my state to the point they are pests. So I only take one buck and the rest females to help with population control. Deer have a better chance of surviving than many think. They have superb senses and reflexes and are savvy when hunted, especially by archery where you have to get in close. Besides, they are rather tasty. Not as tasty as elk or moose, by any means, but toothsome nonetheless. The skins are also useful. I don’t keep antlers from bucks unless they are record-size or nearly so, I use them to make buttons and as scales for knives and things.

  11. The Wolf In Your Midst

    The Wolf In Your Midst GoComics PRO Member said, 9 months ago

    I read an interesting news story recently: The production of a $17,000 rifle with a computerized scope that automatically tracks and ranges its target and works to prevent the user from firing until the shot is perfectly lined up. The scope has a digital heads-up display that tells the operator exactly where to point the weapon, and can even wirelessly interface with an iPad.
    .
    Well, if nothing else, it’s getting ever easier to tell the true sportsmen apart from the guys who are hoping that a big rack in the den will compensate for a small pike in the bedroom.

  12. Ruff

    Ruff GoComics PRO Member said, 9 months ago

    “Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.”

  13. TheTrustedMechanic

    TheTrustedMechanic GoComics PRO Member said, 9 months ago

    @fredgold

    You’d have to give them fingers with dexterity too.

  14. TheTrustedMechanic

    TheTrustedMechanic GoComics PRO Member said, 9 months ago

    @hawgowar

    I don’t know where you are buying raingear but $50 is way too cheap for anything that will last. A year ago I needed rain gear and the DriDucks I could find at my local sporting goods store were $39.00 and getting into my car with them on the crotch ripped, from mid thigh to mid thigh. The next set has not been worn yet

  15. phritzg

    phritzg GoComics PRO Member said, 9 months ago

    He forgot to add about $250 for enough beer and liquor to last for the deer hunting season. You have to remember, Heller is based in Green Bay, and this is the Wisconsin deer hunting season he’s accurately depicting. Also not included is the cabin and hunting land you have to own, and the gas to get up to it in a big gas-sucking sport utility. Hunting license fee is $24 each for gun hunters.

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